My Conscience is Marlon Brando saying "Stop!"

2010-03-02T17:35:00.003+08:00

My blog wanderlust has struck (again). I'll be moving to a new place (again) because I got bored at posting here (again) and most of everyone knows that this is not an infrequent thing (hence the again(s).)

This time, I'll be moving to twooptions.wordpress.com.

Yeah, I'm giving wordpress another shot because now I have more time to tinker with it aimlessly, haha!

Past blogs:

- Nothingmessy2 has the memories of my first few semesters at The One Academy; meeting new friends and learning their eccentricities.

- Evemurmurs was about the six months between graduating from secondary school and entering The One Academy, during which I attempted lessons with Joe Hasham and Japanese.

- Onestorys for when I got bored with Nothingmessy 2.

2010-02-25T21:35:00.002+08:00

"The guard says you have a boyfriend."

The accusation hit me from left field and my fingers pause above the keyboard. In the background, a song is playing, its singers begging ironically for somebody to find them "Somebody to Love". I look over my shoulder at my nanny who is ironing clothes while watching Prime Time Wah Lai Toi. "Excuse me? Who?"

"The guard at your college."

Mr. Indian Mustache? I had no idea he even conversed with my nanny. "What did he say?"

"He says he saw you with some guy with green hair."

I blink a few times. "I'm sorry what?"

Here, she falters a little as she attempts to explain herself. English is not her best language. "Cur-reen..."

I'm still confused. I pick up one of my books with a green cover and point at it. "Green hair? I've never seen anyone with green hair before!" That's a lie. I have but that had been a girl and I'm pretty sure that's not who my nanny's referring to.

"Curry..." She start twirling the air with her pointer finger.

I laugh with realisation. "Oh, you mean curly!"

"Yes!" my nanny exclaims triumphantly. "The guard saw you hugging him!"

"I hug everyone," I deadpan.

She goes slack-jawed with horror. "How could you?! You don't go around hugging just anyone!" She harrumphs righteously and settles back into her ironing and I turn back to my work. If only she knew...

2010-02-22T20:25:00.002+08:00

I'm certain she hates me. I've been plaguing her with emails since day one and at the moment, she might be regretting ever offering me a place in their college. That's why when I finally meet her, I'm so not going to tell her my real name. She might've created a filter to screen my emails at this point.

2010-02-18T20:49:00.002+08:00

The bedroom door is half-broken. It means that it only works half the time while the other half, I am either struggling to let myself out of the room or someone else is trying to barge their way in. It's funny until I realise that I might one day end up under inconsequential house - err, room arrest, and my only regret will be that my Seriously Delicious half-eaten cheeseburger will be going to waste in the fridge. (yea, foodslut)

Now excuse me while I go and write a 1000-word report on emotional labour and its significance in job context. Seems like a huge leap from painting in acrylic and doing figure drawings just two weeks ago, huh? Yea, I don't know how I got here either.

2010-01-09T16:40:00.002+08:00

see more Celeb Look-A-Likes

see more Celeb Look-A-Likes

2010-01-07T20:43:00.002+08:00

Productiveness level: @#$%! <---messed up my gesso

Quite the number of us wore black to class today. It was very reminiscent of the time when people wore black to show their disapproval with the whole Perak issue. Aaron and I had made a pact to wear all black for the fun of it (ignorant, we were) and got ribbed none too gently by Marion the Maverick.

However, today the elevated presence of black merely pulled giggles as one by one, all us black folk lined up to collect our Wacom tablets to start work.

2010-01-07T13:11:00.002+08:00

2009-12-30T01:12:00.001+08:00

Will no one learn Na'vi with me? T__T

2009-12-27T19:27:00.002+08:00

Productiveness level: 1% (attended and am now part of Youth Ministry Council)

There is exactly a week left in my hols. I should get started on that human body study Generals LCK and Way Chyuan have assigned. I should not be attempting to pick up the Na'vi language because there aren't many people who speak it. Even less of a chance that someone around me would attempt to learn it. But my inner fangirl is saying go for it!

So...

Kaltxì. Ngaru lu fpom srak?

2009-12-23T23:33:00.002+08:00

Productiveness level: 0% (Asimov is turning his nose up on me. I just know it.)

I watched 'Avatar' and

I love Zoe Saldana. She's so beautiful even when she's portraying a non-human.

Part of me wonders if I love her even more because her characteristics - movement-wise and emotional reaction-wise - were less stereotypically human. That's a rather odd phrase, isn't it.

'Stereotypically human'. But it's fitting considering how many of us conform to social norms like lemmings.

In any case, James Cameron's Avatar is definitely a movie to keep on your shelf once the DVD comes out. Can't wait for the release in fact, just so I can re-watch it on my laptop and watch all the behind-the-scenes goodies.

The awesomeness (really, we should start banning that word on the account of how often our gen Y uses it) of Avatar even quenches my disappointment of not being able to watch Princess and the Frog even though it's been released for ages.

2009-12-16T23:14:00.004+08:00

Productiveness: 0.3 % (on the account for some digital painting)

Was rifling through stuff today and found some of my old artwork, done sometime around lower secondary school years methinks, and all I could think was blimey, I was such a spazz. I used to draw these characters with cigs cause I thought they were cool but their coolness level were definitely damaged by the horrendous clothes I put them in as well as the weird limb-like protrusions some would call arms.

I want to burn them but my lighters (all three of them) are out of oil and my lighter fluid has gone missing since semester one.

Old artwork wasn't the only thing I dug up. Pulled up some old online urls and found some of the drivel I used to pen when I was 12. Yep. 12. I was not a very bright 12-year old, let me tell you that. I used to insert dramatic sentences in italic because - once again - I thought it'd be cool but in truth, it just makes you want to laugh at the foolishness of the author.

Those who read it and actually liked it must either be foolish as well or might've been 12-year olds like me. I'm glad I don't write like that anymore but it makes me wonder if my current writing would make my future self cringe.

2009-12-14T23:18:00.002+08:00

"Are those underwear?"

"Yea."

"Whose are they?"

"Mine."

"Are you sure these'll fit you?"

"Yea."

"You're right. They will. How much did they cost?"

"DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SINGING THE SONGS OF ANGRY MEN! IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN!"

2009-12-13T00:32:00.001+08:00

Sorry for being an ass (><)

2009-12-09T22:57:00.001+08:00

I let Matin use my lipgloss.

...I have nothing against the guy but ICK! (>///<)

2009-12-06T22:50:00.002+08:00

Final Weekend Movie Spree as in the stuff I play on my laptop while I worked through the hours...

500 Days of Summer This is not a love story.

Good Will Hunting My wife. She used to fart when she was nervous.

The Bourne Identity He went out the window. Why would he do that?

Numbers Season 2 and 3

House M.D. Season 5

Pending...

The Talented Mr. Ripley

The Fountain

Slumdog Millionaire

The 24th Day

Fight Club

Roman Holiday

2009-12-06T00:31:00.003+08:00

"Actually, you're good at this."

Oh wow. Finally.

After nearly eighteen months, my mom acknowledges that I may be a trifle good at art.

2009-12-05T21:15:00.002+08:00

This is a game I was playing by myself when taking a dump just to see how weird my vocabulary and thought process are. The point is to write down the first word that comes to your mind starting with the following letters:-

a anxious

b bulbous

c cataract

d derogative

e err

f fallacious

g gargantuan

h hellenistic

i idiosyncrasy

j jugular

k kevlar

l lobotomy

m moribund

n neurological

o optical

p postulate

q quandary

r rectify

s silence

t testicular

u ubiquitous

v vivacious

w worship

x xylophone

y yarn

z zeitgeist

I really don't want to know what this says about my character.

2009-12-05T00:03:00.002+08:00

Coming out of the shower and toweling my hair, I ask, "Do you realise that by next year I will have the digit 2 in front of my age?"

My sister, lying idly on the bed in front of the boob tube, spares me a glance. "Yea. That's good, right?"

"I feel so old. I feel like I should be engaged or something."

"Why?" was the curious reply.

Because yesterday I had a dream in which I had a baby and was getting married in Ontario. "Because that's what adults do," I retort lamely. My gaze wanders over the the slim white box sitting on my table. "What's this?"

"Open it," my sister says.

"You're not gonna tell me what it is?"

"Open it."

It's a framed picture of her graduating from some CIMB course with a title I don't remember. It came with a framed certificate as well. "It smells good."

"Smells?"

"Yea. Smells like new books."

2009-12-03T20:27:00.002+08:00

Earlier tonight, a huge fight ensued over my eating habits. Not lack thereof mind you, but rather how I've abstained from meat and fish for an indefinite amount of time. The initial time frame was one month ("Isn't your one month over yet?!") but I've let it drag on because believe it or not, I liked being vegetarian ... aside from sushi cravings and that one little time I had huge servings of chicken rice because it was Coco's mom who made it.

But the aforementioned fight didn't even involve me. At least, not in the vocal sense. No, I was staring pensively at my dinner while my family shouted at each other in the background.

Funny how I try to be a good daughter and yet end up making my family do nothing but worry about it, whether it be eating choices, or career paths. Fortunately, they never found out about my past pseudo-promiscuity and therefore have had no reason to worry about that. And I use the p word very lightly.

2009-12-02T23:31:00.003+08:00

Man, it's like TOA is testing all the faith I have in myself. The second half of this semester has been a string of highs and lows, with most of the highs coming from circumstances outside TOA and the lows coming from within.

Today, not only did I learn that I should not have deleted the soft copy of my previous photography assignments (because we have to compile it in a CD and pass it to David on Monday), I also realised that my 'art sense' is nonexistent. I'd elaborate further but it'd only make me look like a sorrier fuck that I already am so I'm going to skip all the sordid details on the blows to my crumbling self-esteem.

I think the only upside today was successfully wheedling David for his contact number, for which I then 'rewarded' him with a Beauty and the Beast duet with Sandy. The uplifting moments of my days are usually the opportunities I have to make a fool of myself. Bet that tells you something disturbing about me, dunnit?

Well, I'm off to continue feeling like a hopeless degenerate. Cheers.

Random note: I so wish David could be my grandpa!

2009-11-30T09:11:00.001+08:00

"You ever getting out of here?"

"Why?" Eyebrow raise. "You lookin' to pay?"

Head turn. "Nope."

"Yea. I am."

2009-11-27T11:52:00.003+08:00

After that terrible Tuesday, I would seriously like to thank the LORD my God for blessing today with such a marvelous start.

Though I woke up later than intended, I bumped into Joshua in FB and the big guy always manages to cheer me up, even if he doesn't know it. It's probably the fact that I can act like an idiot in front of him. We go way back (sorta) so he expects it of me! (lol)

On a sadder note, he won't be coming back to KL for either Christmas or Easter break. Consolation: I still get Daryl from Oz for Christmas break. We're going to down mojitos, swap stories and paint the town red!

Before I could get started on work this morning, my father snatched me from home to have breakfast together (a first in n number of years!) in Amcorp Mall, where the Big Bad Book Sale is being held. At half past nine, we were having a cheap breakfast of half-boiled eggs and kaya butter toast in the middle of stores that had yet to be opened. I had doubts that the book sale had started yet and wondered if I had come too early.

45 minutes past nine, my father and I climbed the three flights of escalators (following another couple like lemmings) and discovered that we were not alone (cue X-files theme music). My father started laughing as my jaw dropped. I quickly sent a text message to my third (and favourite) wife, who was working as cashier for the book sale.

From: Terry

To: Honey

Hey Ming, there is a ginormous line in front. Am I at the right place? Is there like a limit as to how many ppl can enter at once?

From: Honey

To: Terry

If really too many people then we limit. The crowd is the right place. Scary, right?

Yes, it was very scary. The last time I witnessed such a large crowd was when I went to Kinokuniya on the day Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was set to release. I had woken up late, gone to KLCC with Su, only to give up upon seeing the line that had snaked its way across the entire floor, starting from the bookstore.

The crowd in front of the empty warehouse lot set-up for the book sale was similar, if not scarier. As the gate opened, I leaned back and took a video as the people pushed in; a fierce Indian lady screaming at people who deigned to cut in as they did so.

Several people were thanking, congratulating and patting the Indian lady on the back for keeping the order.

All of these people were Chinese =3.

At that point, I had pretty much given up on getting inside and told my Honey so, until Martin (my Honey's little brother) phoned me up, saying that he was in the queue with the rest of the family and asked if I would like to join them.

Yes. I would love to, indeed XD.

Once I was in, I couldn't believe I was. I consulted Martin for the map that my Honey drew of the place (yes, they actually had a map to help navigate around the book sale!) and tried to find my way to the design section to no avail. When I finally did, I realised that most of the good stuff had probably been taken yesterday, because all I found were titles like Making Clay Models, Draw Manga, Tips for Scrapbooking, Watercolour Techniques, etc.

I must've weirded out a few people because I kept wheezing for breath as I squeezed through boxes, baskets, trolleys and suitcases (yep. These people came prepared! A couple of people were even wearing gloves!), and to my utmost horror, failing to avoid touching the general public. I think I have accidentally accosted at least three people in my attempt to browse through the towers of books, and not all of them were beautiful or young. *clears throat*

At one point, I kept asking to be excused, pardoned and forgiven, that I assimilated "M'sorry" and "Excuse me" to "M'scuse me", which made no sense at all to whoever who even bothered to listen instead of sticking their butts way out far as they bent over to reach for books.

Martin was a walking library/bookstore. Slung around his shoulder was a sports bag filled to the brim with Horrible Science/History books ("I am so coming over for a reading spree!) and in his arms was a box filled with books his mother had picked out. About 2 out of every 5 person in the joint were hoisting boxes filled with ridiculously cheap books.

How cheap is cheap, you ask?

Well, Tokyopop manga for RM5 ($1.50).

And novels ranging from RM5 to RM12.

No wonder the people went crazy.

After I completed my run and got my books, I said goodbye to my Honey, who was working at the credit card counter. She was so busy that we could only afford a long distance hug goodbye. I hope she doesn't get too exhausted today because apparently, yesterday had been havoc. Pushing, scuffling, jumping in lines and yelling. I'm glad I wasn't there. (O___O)

Before jumping into the car, my father bought me some Starbucks (which is disgusting, but still coffee, so meh).

So, my wonderful morning is made out of thus: IM with Josh, momentous breakfast with father, seeing my Honey, getting cheap books and (bad) coffee.

Thank you for your blessings, Father. I am cheered up^^

2009-11-26T20:06:00.001+08:00

"Excuse me, did you just say pon farr?"

2009-11-24T09:30:00.000+08:00

I am self-destructing. Even though I know what I have to do, I don't do it. Like the wires that connect my body to the command centre of my entire mechanism has somehow corroded like the gasoline line in old Guadajahara and it's only a matter of time before I spontaneously combust.

I've always thought it miraculous that I've managed to survive in TOA for this long. I'm not particularly gifted in the arts, and neither do my interests rest solely in that area.

When Jeff told me to be ready to sacrifice a few hobbies, I stubbornly refused to listen and merely tried to incorporate all the extra work into my current style of living. I didn't want to give up anything. Not Church, not reading, not writing, not watching documentaries, not creating new worlds in my head whenever I zone out.

But as a result, I can't get everything done on time. And as the weeks drag by, I'm starting to realise that I won't be able to make it. At some point, I'm going to break. It might be this semester; although there's only a coupla weeks left, I already felt so stretched out. Or perhaps next semester which would undoubtedly be harder than this one. I'm not looking forward to the increased amount of painting I'd have to face.

And the number one thing that gets to me now is that I haven't been able to see Ming in quite a while. I used to visit her every week but because I'm constantly rushing acryclic paintings or cartoon character designs this semester, I only see her one every two weeks at best. I want to celebrate the end of her A-levels with her. I want to goof around together and take funny photos, and generally spend time with her before she flies off to Singapore this year.

I hate the backlog of work I've inadvertently accumulated for myself in my foolishness. I hate myself right now. I wish someone would punch me in the face and give me a proper wake-up call.

2009-11-22T18:36:00.000+08:00

2009-11-14T17:21:00.003+08:00

Father: Your mother's not taking you out for dinner, so find something to eat okay.

Me: *stares* That's a really fugly shirt.

Father: Huh?

Me: That's a really fugly shirt.

Father: Funny?

Me: Fugly.

Father: What's that?

Me: As in... really ugly. Why do you even like that shirt?

Father: Not nice ar?

Me: Something about it screams ghey!

2009-11-11T23:05:00.002+08:00

"And then your brother sent me an sms ending with i love u."

I stared at my mother, wide-eyed, jaw hung and mind struggling for words. "Uhm, I guess, fraternisation with Westerners have - have altered his Asian ... Asian non ... non- confrontatio..."

Words failed me.

2009-11-11T18:43:00.002+08:00

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may

Old Time is still a-flying:

And this same flower that smiles today

Tomorrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun

The higher he's a-getting

The sooner will his race be run

And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,

When youth and blood are warmer

But being spent, the worse, and worst

Time still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time

And while ye may, go marry

For having lost but once your prime

You may for ever tarry.

- Robert Herrick, To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time

Admittedly, I have been indulging in Dead Poet's Society again.

2009-11-11T14:38:00.004+08:00

I will show you something different from either

Your shadow at morning striding behind you

Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you

I will show you fear in a handful of dust

- T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

Currently a little obsessed with reading old works. Vonnegut, Woolf, Whitman, Lovecraft, Faulkner. 2BR02B by Vonnegut is an absolute keeper, by the way! It's downloadable at Project Gutenberg.

2009-11-09T21:02:00.001+08:00

(This) is so screwed up, but darn if it isn't funny!

Watch it nao!

For realsies, babe. For realsies.

Jim Bones

2009-11-09T12:10:00.002+08:00

This is dangerous.

I'm floating away like the balloon that is accidentally cut off from the rest of the bunch and try as I might, I cannot regroup with the rest. The metaphor is poetic, unlike the real situation at hand.

Mother called yesterday and it took me ten minutes to convince her that I wasn't dying in my own filth while surveying the general orderliness (or lack thereof) of my apartment. Chocolate wrappers shoved to one side underneath strips of leftover scrap paper, discarded coffee cans - some only half empty, strips of dried acrylic paint adhered to the parquet and the thumb drives hidden in nooks and corners I could never seem to find.

Yep, the situation was bad.

Jee slapped me on the head during the one time she visited, asking me to get a grip and clean myself up. But I don't think they have rehabs for conditions like these. They have parents' homes.

2009-10-31T13:30:00.002+08:00

I can't really tell if the triple-shot latte is not doing its work or whether it's because last night's sleep was a mix of short naps strewn over the side of Tricia's bed and passing out like the dead on the mattress under her bed.

Mom says that I'm already pushing it with three shots of espresso in a regular cuppa joe, since my heart wasn't a very strong one to begin with. But now, I'm starting to feel that the triple-shot cuppas only serve to give me this short spurts of orgasmic bliss taste-wise, rather than serve the initial purpose of warding away the voices that command me to sleep.

On a brighter note, Happy Halloween to all. Though not our tradition, I hope you get at least one free piece of candy.

TOA Cadet: Day 48

2009-10-30T19:59:00.002+08:00

Spent the last night at Cadet Tricia's place, painting an acrylic portrait of one Steven Spielberg, who, thanks to me, now looks like he has a tan and the smoothest skin on the planet. The work isn't done yet though, so I decided to intrude on Cadet Tricia's hospitality for one more night.

Was slightly delusional during Light and Mood Study session today. Started singing out of the blue and had to hit myself to stop. Think I scared Cadet Pei Yoong a little, bless. At some point during the day, I started singing High School Musical and knew that after one all-nighter, I have lost it.

Fortunately, I wasn't the only cadet in my squadron who had.

Half the squadron trekked the sunny plains of Malacca the day before, (my slot had been on Tuesday) so they were listless and tired as well and the general could see it in our work. He dismissed us at the end of the session, allowing us to bring back and refine our work, due for next week. A good half of us protested because we wanted nothing more to hand in our stuff and rid our hands of it so we can pour more concentration on other, more stifling assignments. The acrylic painting for example. The gargantuan workload due for Marker Visual the coming Thursday another example.

Not to mention the test for S.E.A. tomorrow. Ah, bitter sorrow.

2009-10-27T23:53:00.002+08:00

Evemurmurs' To-Eat List

Mac 'n' Cheese at TGIF
Beef Chili Cheese Fries at Carls' Junior
Reuben sandwich at Delicious
The new doughnut selection at Big Apple

soon shall be introducing Arthur Ono, my new Nikon D60 baby, to the world.

TOA Cadet: Day 45

2009-10-27T23:24:00.001+08:00

I graced Malacca with my presence and got sunburnt for it. Go figure. Aloe vera gel makes my eyes water (>__<).

Evemurmurs 2

2009-10-26T23:50:00.002+08:00

"Are you talking to yourself?"

I paused mid-stride along the row of shop, threw my questioner a mirthless smirk, and went on my way. Several second later, I picked up the conversation again.

TOA Cadet: Day 42

2009-10-24T21:35:00.002+08:00

As General LCK pressed through slides of our work, the ring I usually wore on my thumb dropped from between my fiddling fingers and rolled away into the darkness between work stations (a miniature Bermuda Triangle, if you will). I immediately peered over the top of my seat, trying to spot a glint of fake silver amongst the dark blue carpeting.

"What are you searching for?" asked Lieutenant General Wei Chuan, who noticed my bobbing head.

"A ring," I said, without looking at him.

"Wedding ring?"

I felt the windy chill of a cold joke ruffle through me. Really, it seems as if most of our superiors here are unqualified to crack jokes in English, even though their attempts at it are funny enough.

In the end, I left the classroom without finding my ring. My hand feels oddly bereft. I shall have to compensate by adding more bangles to my growing collection.

2009-10-16T21:47:00.005+08:00

Going on a 2D animation movie spree, I think, and pulling Cadet Kelly along for the ride.

The list so far is as followed (according to number of times I've watched it):

1. The Prince of Egypt

[after downloading it, I had it on constant repeat while doing work, and had the soundtrack on constant repeat during class. and during my free time, I went to the college library to read through the entire Prince of Egypt art book. It's that awesome.]

2. Lilo and Stitch

[I'm sorry, you cannot help but fall in love with Stitch and the whole 'ohana' concept. Plus, the Hawaiian BGM kind of weasels its way into your subconscious and your humming it before realising it.]

3. Atlantis: The Lost Empire

[the whole Indiana Jones feel is interesting, no?]

4. Anatasia

[I've forgotten why I like this one so much actually. I've been watching it since I was a kid and been singing the songs on endless repeat with my friends that it's become so natural to like it. Like it's natural to breathe or something along those lines.]

5. Tarzan

[Tarzan's gotta be the hottest Disney-animated hero ever. Seriously, I mean, that physique, and the quiet intensity that probably made girls melt in the cinema. Plus, the sexual undertones of a wild man wooing his lady. I know the Disney folks tried their best to avoid it by making Jane the innocent blushing girl and portraying Tarzan as this adorably googly-eyed person around her, but, *clears throat*. Sorry, sexual undertones still there. Which is good! A romance without sexual tension is just weird. Like Aang and Katara in Avatar.]

6. The Emperor's New Groove

[Technically, I've watched this more times than all the others. My cousin and I used to watch it like every weekend for MONTHS and basically, remembered every. single. line. Still pretty much do. But my love for this piece has weathered with time and with the awful TV series on Disney Channel right now. Sorry, Kuzco.]

7. The Road to Eldorado

[Miguel and Tulio are hilarious. My fondness for this one is probably boosted by the fact that I first watched it with my best friend on the plane to Australia.]

8. The Lion King

[It's so majestic, you cannot not love it! It also has Rafiki, the blue-butt baboon!]

Yea, it's a Disney and Dreamworks-dominated list. Right now, in the process of downloading An Extremely Goofy Movie, Pocahontas and The Little Mermaid. If anyone has the file or torrent for Beauty and the Beast, I would be most grateful.

TOA Cadet: Day 37

2009-10-16T20:38:00.002+08:00

When I departed from my station during Light and Mood Study to go have a look at Cadet Pei Yoong's awesome work in progress, Lieutenant General Wei Chyuan slid into my seat, which set forth a torrent of silent thoughts that went along the lines of "oh my goodness, what is he doing, I'm going to die, he's gonna ... should I push him over?"

But apparently my panic attack was a little unwarranted because he just wanted to check the colours of my work (which turned out horrible in spite of his help). He started upping the saturation, changing the brushes, playing with the layer settings and so on. Upon my word, the lieutenant general works the tablet like a pianist with his instrument! The speed at which his fingers tap the shortcut keys and the way his right hand dances across the tablet with the stylus really looks like he's playing some sort of vigorous music!

I was about to comment on that when he realised with dread that he hadn't made a new layer when helping me fix my work and so left me with no option but to go with whatever changes he had made to my piece. I stood there, stunned to stillness, as he asked me if I was alright? "Yea, sure," I mumbled.

"Just let me..." He tried to make a few more adjustments to help me along and finally I was obliged to ask him to stop and let me continue the piece on my own. "Like that lar..." He trailed off with mock resentment and I tried unsuccessfully to hail him back to say that it was nothing personal.

Sometimes, I think the Lieutenant General is like a little kid. Sometimes, he's funny, and other times, his jokes are as cold as Lieutenant General Lip Wei.

"Kelly, do you remember any of our lecturers' names this semester?" Cadet Aaron and I peered over the lunch table, waiting eagerly for Cadet Kelly's answer.

"...Kin Sun?"

Well, I guess one is better than none. I wonder if it was coincidence that General Kin Sun has chose that moment to enter the restaurant.

Words of "Wisdom"

2009-10-14T15:36:00.002+08:00

Always bring some paracetamol whenever you venture outdoors. Your sanity could depend on it.

Murmurs 1

2009-10-12T23:24:00.003+08:00

Love the History channel! Even though was supposed to rush on acrylic painting due tomorrow (part of me will never cure of the disease called procrastination, m'fraid), watched two documentaries back-to-back. The first one about Chairman Mao and how he used art to spread his propaganda (and hide his failures), and the second regarding the history of the sin Greed, more appropriately known as avarice.

Lord Jesus was mentioned in the second documentary, but the people called Him a 'Jewish teacher', for academic's sake, I think. They were confused as to why Jesus claimed that the poor were more privileged than the wealthy although common knowledge tells us different. Additionally, learned that today's greed-driven world sort of had its beginnings with Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations, who was the pioneer of the idea that greed is good.

Very interesting documentary all in all. Will now depart to 7-11 to get more canned coffee with Jie. Am planning to start building a canned coffee castle actually. See how that pans out. Will a year and a half left in my stint at TOA, I think I'll be buying enough canned coffee to build an empire.

2009-10-11T17:01:00.000+08:00

w00T!

Fullmetal Alchemist has reached 100 chapters!

TOA Cadet: Day 31

2009-10-10T22:56:00.003+08:00

The Cutie Cultie Comic Fiesta talk, which was compulsory for my squadron (or so they say) was supposed to start at 1000, right in the middle of our S.E.A. lesson, one of my favourite classes surprisingly.

General Sau Bin always seems earnest to impart knowledge - in spite of the slight sadistic tendencies to his eccentric character - and could always pick out what I wanted to say despite my small voice. (Maybe it's because most of the people present are usually silent as graves. The way their eyes glass over whenever the general starts speaking is also reminiscent of the dead, but I digress.) Not to mention, today we were to start studying on Christian art influence in Southeast Asia.

Unfortunately, we had to leave just before that part of the lecture began. I was torn immensely from staying behind and leaving. I was REALLY looking forward to listening about this subject from the general and yet they say the Cutie Cultie thing was important for our squadron. Finally deciding that I could research whatever General Sau Bin had taught in my absence and anyway, I shouldn't be looking at human depictions of the Lord and His Son, I left the classroom.

Admittedly, my desire to listen to General Sau Bin made me less than kindly inclined towards the first person who was scheduled to talk for Cutie Cultie. In the end, the talk was delayed for 30 minutes because not all the speakers were present, and I was too busy steaming in my seat to even raise my hands to applaud the first speaker (who, although knew what he wanted to say, bored me to tears).

As if that was enough, Cadet Kai, who had chosen to remain behind in General Sau Bin's class (the bugger), had to torture me through a phone message saying how much fun they were having on his side. The second speaker was not much better as he conversed solely in Mandarin and was the head of the Mandarin Comic Society, which probably won't benefit me unless I miraculously obtain powers to decipher the Chinese language. Sigh. Looking back on how uneventful the first half of the Cutie Cultie talk was, I wish I had stayed in General Sau Bin's lecture.

My apologies to Cadet Tricia, though, who had seen me glower unfairly at the speakers of Cutie Cultie. Really, it wasn't their fault. But I was in a bad mood. And when I'm in a bad mood, I tend to breathe fire unwittingly.

"Raindrops are falling on my Head"

2009-10-10T20:55:00.003+08:00

I passed by Universiti Malaya on my way home from dinner. The large letters on the giant archway welcoming visiting cars mocked me as I was driven past it, echoing don't you want you come back?

Yea. Yea, I did want to go back there. Not that I was ever a student there. I have friends who study/studied there. But the one I wanted to revisit was not the university itself, but rather the hours I used to spend there, rehearsing for a play with my best friend and newfound friends.

Afternoons spent tweaking voices with Ming so that we sounded scary enough for our parts as the Black Spirits. Laughing at Joshua (King) because the poor boy had two left feet and had the most comical way of screwing the steps up. Fooling around with Jane, Jenny and the rest while waiting for the director to turn his attention to us. Watching amusedly as Alfa did his Beyonce routine. Trying, with Ming, to teach tone dead Raja to sing.

Those were fun moments, which was why I was so very reluctant to leave them behind. But as I reach midway of my course in TOA, I realise that soon, I will have to leave everything behind. Friends, family, belongings and memories, to cross oceans and further my studies. The only thing I can bring along are emotions and faith. Typing in the middle of my dining room, I already feel homesick.

Ofra Haza / Eden Riegel - Deliver Us

2009-10-08T07:59:00.002+08:00

[Egyptian Guards]

Mud...Sand...Water...Straw...Faster!

Mud...And lift...Sand...And Pull

Water...And raise up...Straw...Faster!

[Slaves]

With the sting of the whip on my shoulder

With the salt of my sweat on my brow

Elohim, God on high

Can you hear your people cry:

Help us now

This dark hour...

Deliver us

Hear our call

Deliver us

Lord of all

Remember us, here in this burning sand

Deliver us

There's a land you promised us

Deliver us to the promised land...

[Yocheved]

Yal-di ha-tov veh ha-rach

(My good and tender son)

Al ti-ra veh al tif-chad

(Don't be frightened and don't be scared)

My son, I have nothing I can give

But this chance that you may live

I pray we'll meet again

If He will deliver us

[Slaves]

Deliver us

Hear our prayer

Deliver us

From despair

These years of slavery grow

too cruel to stand

Deliver us

There's a land you promised us

Deliver us

Out of bondage and

Deliver us to the promised land...

[Yocheved]

Hush now, my baby

Be still, love, don't cry

Sleep as you're rocked by the stream

Sleep and remember my last lullaby

So I'll be with you when you dream

River, o river

Flow gently for me

Such precious cargo you bear

Do you know somewhere

he can live free?

River, deliver him there...

[Young Miriam]

Brother, you're safe now

And safe may you stay

For I have a prayer just for you:

Grow, baby brother

Come back someday

Come and deliver us, too...

[Slaves]

Deliver us

Send a shepherd to shepherd us

And deliver us to the promised land

[Yocheved]

Deliver us!

was up at four singing this song at the top of my lungs, much to everyone else's misfortune.

Snippets from my old blog

2009-10-07T21:23:00.003+08:00

While watching Yu-Gi-Oh! Part 4...

Bro: What is 'anaglyph'?

Me: Dunno

Bro: What is 'snit'?

Me: Dunno

Bro: What do you know?

Me: ... dunno.

During ICT lesson..

Me: You know, to be happy you have to be ridiculously stupid.

John: You mean, like you?

Me: [speechless]

John: You know, with the way you are and all...

Me: You're a jackass.

John: Yeah.

On prom dates...

Keshinn: Hey Wei Li - my date!

Me: Hey Keshinn - my bitch!

Keshinn: Can I borrow a pencil?

Me: [rummages through stationery for pencil and finally found one]

Keshinn: Oh, it's okay. I already have...

Me: [scowls]

Naz: You've been making that face often lately. What happened to that "aw shucks, it's okay" person we all used to know and love?

Me: I know both of you far too long to bother being polite anymore.

Tzuk: [sneezes] HA-TCHOO!

Boon: Shaddup.

En. Isk: Can you all please stop coughing? I'm trying to have a spelling test here!

I'm a girl. Kelvin's a boy. I have a book on how to pick up women. And Kelvin has an article on women's guide to attract men. Am I the only one who sees something wrong here?

Sometimes, I hate the world. But just sometimes.

2009-10-07T18:18:00.001+08:00

why is the Google logo in barcode today???

TOA Cadet: Day 26

2009-10-05T20:08:00.002+08:00

CCD is always a joy to attend if only to hear General Bryan enthusiastically teach us more about Cartoon Character Design. Today was no different. The funnies came in when he tried to explain the prominent characteristics of different types of animals and somehow accidentally added Godzilla to the group of primates.

"Godzilla?" I repeated, snapping out from a stupor induced by lack of sleep.

"I'm sorry! I mean gorilla!" he said sheepishly as Cadet Pei Yoong and I cooed at how much funnier he was nowadays as compared to the days he used to send us to sleep in Composition Analysis.

Everyone was looking a little worse for wear today. Cadet Alex looked as if blood had been drained from his face and Cadet Pei Yoong had more rings under her eyes than an onion. I noticed this similar trait in almost every other cadet in the squadron, myself included. The only exception seemed to be Cadet Chia Chee, who somehow always managed to get enough sleep. I'm starting to suspect that she lives in a different dimension, in which days consists of 48 hours or something.

Cadet Tricia was down for the count today. Having suffered stomach problems since yesterday, she couldn't get out of bed, much less finish her assignments. Lieutenant Zhuo You, however, was adamant about receiving an MC from her if she wanted to hand in her work. I can only hope my fellow cadet will recover in time to finish everything.

Tonight is also the opening of the comic exhibition at headquarters. General Bryan says that it would be a good experience and that artists from the industry would be there. But I doubt that anyone from our squadron will be attending, given that we have an acrylic painting due for inspection tomorrow.

{On a completely unrelated note, for the uninitiated, go search for Jinnai Tomonori on YouTube for 5-minute laughs. Anything to take off the stress, in my opinion.}

むかしむかし、あるところに好きな男の子

2009-10-04T22:31:00.003+08:00

Circumstance is our cruel friend. Long ago, you sustained me with hugs when I was turned down. You buttered me with words and though I did not believe them, I still took comfort in them. And where my weak-willed self would've fled long ago, you made me stay with you enthusiasm and encouragement.

But when I discovered that you pined for someone else, I hardened my heart and threw you away. And it's so unfair to you, but I'm selfish. Yet bit by bit, I find myself wanting you again. I discovered that all along, I've always been endeared by you. I scream myself silent for being this pathetic and for being a bad friend.

But once upon a time, I liked you a lot.

TOA Cadet: Day 23

2009-10-02T16:43:00.002+08:00

bout of randomness

hey there, little fella.

aren't you a little too young to be rifling through daddy's biker wardrobe?

You know that something is wrong when you start disliking your parents because they can go to sleep while you keep the night company finishing assignments. It starts becoming especially annoying when they start with the whole, "You should sleep more and rest your body," and the only thing that stops you from going on a rant of "I want to but I can't!" (insert expletives wherever appropriate) are those set of values slapped into you in your younger years that dictates no backtalking to parents (unless they're sassing your choice in clothes).

Today I woke up late and practically ran to class where everyone else is already settled in their seats, composed and hopefully, not staring at the clumsy latecomer. I barely sat my arse down when Lieutenant General WC reminded me, "Your WACOM", which led me hopping out of my seat, nearly tripping over the straps of my bag, and rushing to get my equipment in front of class.

It was the return trip that was horrifying. After getting my equipment and signing my name in the folder, I rushed back to my seat, tripping over the projector along the way and causing the cream screen to go rolling back up to the ceiling in a sharp snap. I remained still, wide-eyed, hand clasped over my mouth for several Mississippi seconds until the lieutenant general and General LCK assured me that no damage had been done.

Then as I pushed my chair forward, Cadet Edwin next to me tapped my shoulder to ask if I could lift my foot off his bag. The list of mortifying events just keep on going (albeit less significant to those I just mentioned).

Light and Mood Study class is almost always enjoyable with several inserts of humiliating self-deprecation on my part. Occasionally, Cadet Tricia jumps in on the fun as we lament on how much our work for the day sucked. Today was different in the sense that while in previous lessons, we had about two hours to finish one piece, we now had to do two pieces with 45 minutes allocated for each. Needless to say, there wasn't much time to walk around and chat.

Again, the general and the lieutenant general had to stop by my station several times to give me tips on how to improve my work. At one point, the lieutenant general even asked why I didn't like using special effects like the Color Dodge, to which I coloured and muttered that I forgot about that function.

I bumped into Cadet Zenji after class. I managed to introduce him to Cadet Aaron and Cadet Tricia, who nodded with a knowing smile when I said that he was one of the new recruits. It was usually obvious by the way the new recruits liked to wear their IDs around their necks. The more seasoned cadets usually chuck it into their knapsacks and simply heave said luggage at the digital sensors. On the outside, it usually looked like they were trying to attack the door.

Down the stairs and I was about to execute said attack when the new general beeped the door for us as he walked in. It was obvious he was new because we have never seen him around before this semester and the fact that he was a Westerner made him stand out amongst the tall, scrawny Chinese bunch that usually made up the squadron of generals around TOA.

According to the rumours, this new general was in charge of Typography for batch AD88-1 and a few of us mourned the fact that we will never have him lead us because frankly, he is hot. Even Cadet Aaron with the roving eye, says so. The motion is seconded by Cadet Tricia, much to Cadet Thomas' dismay.

I learned later, during lunch, that the fit general is called Gabriel. For some reason though, I prefer to call him Nathan; in the same way that I still prefer calling Azman, Gandhi. We had lunch at Wong Kok, where we ran into Lieutenant Jen Thing with his friends, General Bryan and General CK with their friends, and General LCK with his girlfriends and wondered if Wong Kok was a hotspot for the generals.

Subsequently, I wondered where General Nathan (yes, I'm calling him that!) usually dined.

TOA Cadet: Day 22

2009-09-30T17:46:00.005+08:00

When I saw Cadet Yi Lin and the Singaporean standing outside the classroom, waiting for me, I had thought that I had finally pushed the Singaporean too far and that she had enlisted the help of our resident black-belt wushu warrior to make sure I never call her Singaporean again. But I'd been thinking too much again. They had merely been wanting to invite me to a newly-formed Bible Study group at Alex's place starting Saturday. Oh, happy day! I'd given up the fortune of Christian fellowship in TOA a while back and am happy to be proven wrong!

This is to be celebrated with "kopi!"

The woman who has been taking care of me for over a decade now looked at me blankly. Not because she was a Hokkien speaker but more of the suddenness of my outburst! "Go! Get me coffee!" I said with delirious flourish as she laughed and called me a kopi kia (coffee child).

Feeling tremendously ill all of a sudden. Have taken a headache pill, a paracetamol, and no dinner, which was probably a bad idea, but now that the dishes are clear, it's a bad decision regretted too late.

Old Shinsengumi Ficcie

2009-09-30T16:48:00.008+08:00

Something I wrote long time ago and never finished. Reading it again, I cringe at some parts and wonder what in the world I had been thinking when I wrote that. Oh well, if you can't laugh at old works, then what can you?

It was a gloomy morning, cold with winter chill. Snow blanketed the wooden rooftops and the dirty streets of Mibu. Everyone everywhere sought warmth under shelter and in front of a fire. In the middle of the worst morning in this year's winter a lone female figure collapsed onto the snowy road.

The melting snow seeped into her white yukata, turning it translucent against her bruised pale skin. Tears trailed from her eyes in hopeless despair and from the biting cold.

I am going to die, she though. Like a dog in the street. She was going to leave this world, nameless and unmourned.

城川文代氏

Life's greatest pleasure lie in the simplest of things. That was what Shirokawa Fumiyoshi believed. He took his time enjoying a stick of dango under a paper umbrella, that had been set out in front of a tea shop to shield guests from the scorching summer sun. Only, the sun was hiding behind the clouds and it was still not yet summer.

Winter remained in the bones of the old Mibu village. Passers-by running daily errands looked awkwardly at this stranger - this foreigner - who was calmly enjoying his snacks outside, unfazed by the teeth-shattering winds.

Fumiyoshi finished the last of his snack and downed his green tea, which had been left out for so long it had gone ice-cold. He paid the owner and thanked him for the information about the girl, who had been found unconscious several mornings ago.

"Poor girl, being captured by the Miburo and all that," the owner of the tea shop commented with a sigh. "She'd be better off dead. Who knows what those wolves have done to her by now." The owner saw Fumiyoshi twitch and frowned. "Are you alright? I told you eating outside during winter is stupid but you youngsters never listen to a word from the elderly."

"I assure you, I'm fine." He picked up his walking stick and donned his rice-planter hat. "I shall take my leave now."

Winters were not kind in Mibu. Although the worst of this year's winter has passed, it was still common to catch death in the outdoor chill. Many Mibu villagers, out on their own business, turned to stare as Fumiyoshi walked the streets in only two layers of clothing: his underclothes and the peasant robes he travelled in. By normal standards, he was two layers of clothing too short.

It was obvious that this foreigner was made of something else; made of Aizu winters and hailstorms too many to remember, to be exact. Winter was always the cruelest of seasons because there was no way to hide from it if you were poor.

Such was the case with our current protagonist, who - for the first time in his life - was venturing outside Aizu. Given the opportunity and the money, Fumiyoshi would have preferred to see the shores of Hokkaido or visit the shrines in Edo, rather than come out all the way to a place like Mibu, where the people spoke differently and the spirit of the revolution was high.

Alas, he was not in Mibu for sight-seeing. That was just an added bonus. This little trip was using up his entire life's savings, which wasn't much to begin with, and he was already starting to wonder if it was all worth it.

Fumiyoshi entered a small trinket store and picked up a wooden sculpture of Shisa, about the size of his hand. As he pretended to examine it, he looked out the window at the large compound on the other side of the street.

There were two men stationed at the main entrance into the spacious compound. Both of them wore similar stoic expressions, a traditional Japanese topknot and sky-blue haori patterned with white mountains at the hem of the wide sleeves. Hanging from their hips was a dangerous-looking katana, accompanied by a shorter wakizashi.

Although the weapons were eye-catching, it was the haori which drew attention. Most haori in this period were dark in colour; deeper and richer if they were expensive, and duller for the cheaper ones. For haori to have such bright colours - like sky-blue - was quite unheard of, which was why it was perfect as a trademark.

The group of samurais hired by the protector of Kyoto to enforce the rule of the Tokugawa shogunate were very well known for their bright-coloured haori. Around Japan, they were known as the Shinsengumi - Newly Selected Corps - but here in Mibu, they were better known as the Miburo. The wolves of Mibu. It was their headquarters that lie opposite Old Man Matsumoto's trinket shop.

Several villagers that had engaged in small talk with Fumiyoshi mentioned screams of pain coming from the compound. At the moment, the headquarters was relatively silently, save for the telltale thwack of a bokken (wooden sword) as members trained inside.

Fumiyoshi regarded the compound with a wary eye and a sigh. At seventeen years, Shirokawa Fumiyoshi was feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. Early in his childhood, there was comfort and love. But they had been followed by ill fortune after his father's death, leaving him dirt poor and virtually alone.

And now, the only remaining member of his immediate family had been taken captive by a hostile group of sword-wielding men.

If it had been up to him, he would've gladly left his sister to the Shinsengumi. Of all their years together, he never had a single good memory of his older sister. She always played favourites and was never considerate. Their parents had often warned her that she would end up in trouble if she continued on like that.

True enough, she was promised to a rich merchant, who was violent with her. It wasn't long after the marriage that the selfish girl rebelled and ran away. In retrospect, from her being married to Merchant Yamashi to being captured by the Shinsengumi, Kasumi's prospects haven't improved much.

Fumiyoshi paid for the wooden Shisa and left the trinket shop. Although there was no love lost between him and Kasumi, he had told his dead father he would take care of his sister. Fumiyoshi scoffed at the idea now. He shouldn't have promised that delirious, dying man anything.

TOA Cadet: Day 21

2009-09-29T17:12:00.004+08:00

There is an Indian bookseller who often sets up shop, right in front of headquarters, displaying his goods on a simple plastic table and keeping his stock in cardboard boxes, either on the floor or in the back of his van. This man is from Basheer, the go-to provider for art books or books about art.

The Indian man is tall and skinny, and I only ever purchase something from him one out of the twenty times (approx.) I peruse his merchandise. That number is significantly less than the times I see him onsite, meet him eye, wave a smile and then to my fellow cadets, I say amiably, "Look Gandhi is here."

To which, Cadet Aaron is oft to reply, "Gandhi is dead, dear."

The man's name is not, in fact, Gandhi. I did not know his name and rather as refer him to the ignominiously impersonal and long title of 'Indian art bookseller', I nicknamed him Gandhi, for the same reason I nicknamed his Chinese predecessor 'Ah Cheong'.

Today, I saw Gandhi outside headquarters again. Though his books are on the table, he was not peddling his goods to the man he was speaking with. I seemed to be interrupting a rather lively conversation as I stepped up and the other man, upon noticing me, stood back, offered his hand, and said, "It was nice to meet you, Azman."

And so, after four semesters of having known him as Gandhi, I finally learned his real name, which is surprisingly plainer that I had thought it would be.

TOA Cadet: Day 20

2009-09-28T20:20:00.002+08:00

When Lieutenant Zhuo You announced the topic for the week's assignment, Master and Slave, images of leather-sporting women and bondage comes to mind unbidden.

TOA Cadet: Day 17

2009-09-25T15:29:00.004+08:00

Today, I was visited by three ghosts at my work station.

First, was the ghost of Cadet Alex, who after a night's rest, finally looked a little more alive. But the deep rings under his eyes were probably a little more permanent.

Second, was stealthy Cadet Chia Chee, who took advantage of the blind spots my large cap had given me and ambushed with a varied noogie attack. She came bearing cheer and sweets though, so all was good.

The third and final ghost was Lieutenant General WC, whose passive facial expressions almost made me pull an unsightly funny face at very nearly mistaking him for a fellow cadet and beating him with an enthusiastic hello. It was customary for the general and lieutenant general to rove about the room, observing our progress. But I hadn't expected the lieutenant general capable of stealth like Cadet Chia Chee.

"Looks like Gackt," he said with a smirk in reference to the human figure I was painting.

When he left without further comment , I breathed a small sigh of relief and offhandedly thought that his new haircut looked good on him ... although oddly similar to Cadet Hua Yuan's new do.

TOA Cadet: Day 16

2009-09-24T18:14:00.003+08:00

Daruma-san ga koronda, koronda, koronda. Daruma-san ga koronda. My fair lady.

The doll is falling, falling, falling. The doll is falling, my fair lady.

The song was stuck in repeat in my head, and so I sung it like a broken record with the energy of an IV-drip dependent as I worked on the computer in today's class. Beside me, Cadet Alex wasn't faring much better as he struggled to stay awake after last night's all-nighter that had left him pale-faced and boneless. Opposite him was Cadet Tricia, who had survived on two hours of rest but was working steadily nonetheless. And on my left was the Singaporean who had somehow managed to stay chipper throughout.

The doll is falling, falling, falling.

At the end of the lesson, we left the classroom with more assignments than when we came in of course. The usual two simplified figures, two imaginary simplified figures plus three thumbnails of people playing sports. All due next week along with our four caricatures, an acrylic painting of Pavarotti, the outline of our next acrylic assignment, five photos depicting light and shadow and more to come.

Daruma-san ga koronda.

I walked sluggishly into my room and fell into a dead heap again.

My fair lady.

2009-09-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYE, COMRADE AJEET!

I hope you enjoy your new DJ course.

TOA Cadet: Day 15

2009-09-23T21:00:00.003+08:00

My feet and ankles are nearly completely covered in blossoming grey bruises, courtesy of yesterday's vigorous activity of being strapped by the ankles, locked in a harness and having the absolute time of my life screaming my lungs out as the world about me spun.

I never expected to be rolling down in a slope in a rubber ball, performing the spectacular sport called 'orbing' on a Tuesday morning. I also never had a more exhilarating birthday present. I really have to thank my best friend for setting the whole thing up. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't never known the existence of orbing in Titiwangsa, and possibly, would've gone through life not knowing what it felt like to be in a hamster in a ball (or a rag cloth in a washing machine, but I digress).

Come 0945 and I realised I was probably going to be late for General David's photography lesson, the one class we were directly advised not to be late for and I was running late. But that alone, was not to fill my self-loathe quota for the day. Still ahead on my schedule was a critique session of my photos in front of the entire class that turned out so ignominious, I wished I could snatch my work off the board and bolt towards comfort food.

No subject matter.

No composition

No lighting.

I don't see any of it in your photos. And it's messy.

Ouch, ouch, ouch, someone please break out the mac 'n' cheese.

Work in CCD (cartoon character design) class was premeditated by a slide show of good examples of caricature. I was hoping for the demonstration to end quickly so I could join Cadet Kelly and Cadet Pei Yoong in the let's-put-our-heads-on-the-table-and-snooz-because-we-are-too-darned-tired-SORRY! club. But almost immediately after the slide show, handouts were distributed and we were all assigned four caricatures to complete before class.

Before me, I saw the world blur like the background of a good macro shot.

"Excuse me." I got up and walked out of the classroom.

In my state of haziness, there was no good work to be gotten. So I ran up and down the stairs twice, barged into the toilet in the other classroom, washed my face, did several jumping jacks, wiped my face and reentered the classroom to start work. Had it been appropriate, I would've released a war cry (kiai) but the room was too silent and I got to work.

2009-09-19T23:54:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRHTDAYE, CADET IVON VOON!

Congratulations on making it this far!

Meet my new Pet!

2009-09-19T23:32:00.002+08:00

I have christened my father's present, and his name is Arthur Ono. Arthur because it's going to be Arthur's Day soon (do not judge me!) and Ono after Ono Daisuke, who has recently entered my list of favourite seiyuu (Japanese voice actors), along with Fukuyama Jun.

As for my sister's gift... erm, I will name it TOMORROW!

TOA Cadet: Day 10

2009-09-18T14:45:00.005+08:00

General LCK peered over my shoulder at the computer screen baring my incomplete digital painting, and with s playful smile, said, "Make him more handsome," pointing at the dark, dark man in the foreground, smoking a cigarette.

I nod sheepishly as I finish blotting in several sack of potatoes in the background, which I hoped (in vain) would pass off as humans. Later in the critique session, General LCK would move the cursor over my sack of potatoes and ask with chagrin, "What is that?"

Today's lesson was particularly nerve-wrecking for me. Possibly even more so than last week, when our subject study was a dark Benz (that somehow changed shape from person to person, until at one point, it transmogrified into a truck). Today's subject study was a silhouetted man smoking in an airport.

However, when I was done with him, he looked like he was smoking in his own personal oblivion. I wasn't the only one who unwittingly changed his surroundings, as one other person made it look like he was in the waiting seat to heaven, while someone else painted him in hell. Not on purpose, of course. But somehow, the colours went in that direction.

Back to the point, Friday's class always ends with a thirty-minute critique session, when General LCK flick through everyone's work and give comments on what we've done right (or wrong) and how we can improve the piece. I chewed furiously on some gum as he went through each painting leisurely, hoping against hopes that he would forget to go through mine.

Presenting my work in front of other people was for me a mortification in a class of its own, since I'm usually dissatisfied with what I'd done. Today a little more because I lost myself trying to save the painting from looking like a person on fire, and nearly jumped when Lieutenant General Wei Huang (quite a fitty) took the tablet stylus from me to fix my colour saturation.

Mortification was nearing peak level, but since combusting with self loathe was unacceptable in class, I pushed on with my smoking man and potato sacks.

Much to my surprise, however, my piece proved not to be a complete epic failure during the critique session. Sure, General LCK said that my key colour was off and my figure rendering left a lot to be desired, but he liked my depth perception. Insert heaved sigh of relief here. Though I still have a long way to go, at least I know I'm not moving backwards.

There was a Rolls Royce parked outside the Sunway Pyramid supplies centre right next to headquarters. It was dark, large, gleaming and stood out with its old sharp angles, which were absolutely saliva-worthy. I slipped out my camera, trying to sneak in a shot when the guards were not looking, only to be distracted by a young couple walking past holding hands.

They were wearing one of those couple tees Cadet Aaron, Cadet Tricia and her beau had expressed so much dislike for, only they had taken it to the next level. The girl walked forward, her shirt boldly declaring that she loved TIAN XANG, and the boy...

...the boy had discreetly covered the name on his shirt with a bag. Poor boy. I wonder what he had been bribed with (or what bet he had lost) to be walking out in public with such red-faced travesty.

TOA Cadet: Day 8

2009-09-15T18:20:00.005+08:00

Cadet Tricia and I got a bit lost today. We had booked the Digital Art Lab 1 for use until 1600 today, but the personnel from Operations had messed things up and forgotten that DAL 1 would be occupied by another squadron till 1800 of today.

"Can you stay till 6?" Cadet Tricia asked me dubiously.

No way. So we went looking for an alternative around headquarters but as it turned out, all but one lab was occupied, and that one lab was as warm as a sauna. Cadet Tricia wavered over the row of computers. "Maybe we should just go home."

After testing our luck with every other lab and annoying two other cadets who had been working in the sound recording studio (I AM SO SORRY!), I decided that her suggestion sounded like a very good idea. I'd rather much tackle finding the elusive Photoshop CS4 for a Macintosh than deal with whatever obstacles TOA had decided to serve me for attempting to use one of their labs outside class.

Lunch, my hungry stomach commanded, and so the both of us traipsed down to one of TOA's many unofficial cafeterias, Ming Tien. The cramped eatery that shared space with our colourful orange-purple headquarters, used to be a little more chaotic; feel a little more questionable. But ever since a truck came by several months back and carted several hawkers away, plus the small renovation to accommodate the Malay food section and the addition of the small bakery-like stall near the seating area, Ming Tien's ... changed (for lack of better word to describe it).

To what end, I'm not sure, as I rarely dine there. But I do miss the kakak who used to tend the waffle-cum fruit stand right outside. I wonder what happened to her; if they had given her long leave again or she had been stationed somewhere else again. She was one of my first friends arriving at TOA. I probably should have given her more than a 'hi, 'bye', 'have you taken your lunch yet?' friendship.

Midway lunch, one of two volunteer workers approached our table. With his short hair, wide eyes and limited command of English, he reminded me of Lieutenant General Ze Lin, whom we had encountered just several minutes ago wearing a surprisingly happy grin.

("Ze Lin, so long didn't see you, dy!"

"Few weeks only ma!"

"I miss you can or not?!"

"Can, can.")

Anyways, he approached us and oddly enough, one of the first things he said was, "Please don't scold me." Pathetically endearing, but I immediately felt my heart go out to him because I'd done some volunteer work before, and yes, it was no easy feat to talk to strangers who constantly give you the evil eye. "Sorry, for disturbing. May I sit down?"

He proceeded to explain that he was a student of USCI, doing volunteer work with his friend, collecting donations for a foundation of spastic/Down syndrome children. I've heard the same thing before, and was only waiting for him to stop and take a breath of air so I could offer him my money. "You two look very kindness," he said in broken English.

Yes, well, you look very cute, I thought, my eyes darting to the photo on his identity card. Before he left, he regaled us with a story of a fierce man who had scolded him to near tears for approaching him, which explained the earlier pathetic utterance.

Good luck to you, friend Edison (that was his name). May you better your English and serve that foundation of yours well. If only you were in my squadron. We could use more cute guys like you.

TOA Cadet: Day 7

2009-09-14T16:31:00.004+08:00

The new week has begun and while the threat of an unfinished acrylic painting looms over my head, I find myself in a rare moment of true self satisfaction after purchasing three books for the shocking price of fifteen ringgit. I now find myself arranging more space on the shelf to accommodate my new friends.

North and South by Gaskell, The Little Drummer Girl by John Le Carre and Schwarzer Truffel by Michael Dibdin, the last of which I will translate once a slot opens up in my schedule. In that similar vein, Dan Brown's new book is due for release tomorrow. Hardcover. Not what I would prefer so I hope they'd start publishing it in paperback soon.

My brother left for the UK today with my mom. It feels kind of odd. At first, I thought I wouldn't miss him as much as last time (blimey, the last time was a real sucker punch to the gut cos' I'd never spent more than two weeks away from him) but the quiet and empty room at the bottom of the second flight of stairs now felt so strange.

Usually upon noticing that his lights weren't on, I'd immediately wonder, where'd he go out to? and when is he coming back?

This time, the answer was fast in coming. UK, to the first question. Three months, to the second. Three months. Cue sucker punch to the gut. I entered the room and for the first time in months, his desks were immaculate. Even my bedroom reeked of his absence.

It made me regret the cold war. But I know that even if I go back several weeks, I wouldn't have been the one to say sorry because in the face of family, my tongue is heavy with cowardice. It sucks even more to know that he won't be enjoying himself there.

We were never as close as I'd hoped to be; as close as Ming and Martin are. But what can you do when two siblings so fundamentally different? I wonder if in future, when he has his own life and I have mine, will we still see each other? Will we initiate reunion dinners, and clink glasses of tea (because he would stay away from alcohol till his deathbed, and maybe even after that) while we reminisce old times with our mother?

I don't know. Our future hasn't come to that yet. But I already miss him.

This Sunday

2009-09-13T22:50:00.000+08:00

Today...

1. ...during Sunday School, Auntie Siew May revealed to me the origin and meaning of my adopted name, Terry. Although I used it as short for Terrible, Auntie Siew May said that in actuality, it is short for Theresa (darnit!) which means industriousness. Darn, gotta work harder to live up to my namesake.

In the same note, Amanda's name means 'beloved' and Joshua's means 'Jehovah saves', which is unbelievably awesome, if you ask me. Maybe I should change me name again...

In the same note yet again, yesterday General Yap Sau Bin claimed that Cadet Tricia's name, in the same vein as Patricia and Patrick, originated from the word 'patriarchy', which has a double meaning of 'firstborn'. "I'm the second child though," said Cadet Tricia hesitantly, exchanging dubious looks with me.

2. ...Ian freaked out when his found an offering bag in my knapsack and like the rest before him, probably thought I was stealing from the church. Once again, I had to explain that I was entrusted with the bag; to keep and count the money before passing it to our Sunday School administrator. So yes, while I may steal the occasional sip of a drink now and again, I will never steal from the church. Though, the look on people's faces when they thought I did was kinda priceless.

In the same note as above, turns out Ian is actually Scottish (or was it Irish?) for John. Ivan is another variation of the name John too. Though I can't really remember how as Ian was doing the explaining, and sometimes he speaks a little quick. Additionally, he seems to find it very odd that Joshua (Lau) and I never even entertained the thought of dating one another.

"Guess what? Guess what? Joshua says it's impossible for him to like Terry and Terry says it's disgusting to even think of dating Joshua!"

"Yea! We're brothers!" I added.

"You're brothers? He thinks of you as a brother?" Ian asked, eyes bulging.

"Yes...like heng tai, y'know?" Is that so odd? Hey Josh, is there any easier way to explain our relationship without making people raise their eyebrows?

3. a poor Chinese lady with a crew cut and an umbrella approached Joshua and I in front of Pavilion asking if we could spare here a ringgit and fifty cents (RM1.50) so she could buy something to eat. I looked back at Joshua, catching his eye and silently asking if this was one of those begging scams I absolutely should not fall for. But he was digging around for his wallet so I did the same.

The lady thanked us with a smile and left with her ringgit fifty cents. Thinking back, she was the most honest-looking beggar I had ever seen. Then again, was she even technically a beggar? She wasn't sitting on the pavement waving a bowl frantically, sleeves pulled up to reveal any physical deformity.

She had been walking around, looking a little lost under the umbrella and rain, and so happened came up to Joshua and I, thinking that we looked kind enough to be willing to give her some change. And she only asked for one-fifty! Should I have given her more? I have given much more to people my friends claimed were begging liars.

She was sweet, that old lady. "I go buy my food now," she said, head bobbing, bony hand grasping the old one ringgit note and silver coin. How did she know to speak in English? Most people would come up to us speaking in Cantonese, judging our supposedly yellow skin.

I hope she had enough to eat with that one-fifty. Father, please bless that lady, wherever she is now. I pray that her stomach is full and that she has shelter. Real beggar or not, I hope she will continue to meet good-natured people who will not be afraid to help her. In Your son's most precious name, Amen.

TOA Cadet: Day 5

2009-09-12T15:01:00.003+08:00

"No," I thought, seeing all the rows of chairs occupied as Cadet Tricia and I entered the classroom about five minutes late. The only seats available were right in front. Right in front of General Yap Sau Bin, with his long scraggly beard and hair, which was longer still. Right in front of the large AC that blew arctic winds into the relatively small classroom.

NO!!!

Survey of Southeast Asian Art and Culture. That was the class today. Cadet Kelly, Cadet Tricia and I looked on almost bleakly as General Yap proceeded to enlighten us as to why Southeast Asia was so - as he put it - capalang (mixed up).

Interesting, maybe. But with 90% of my thoughts dedicated to wondering why it had to be so darn cold in the classroom, I could hardly care about the similarities between Southeast Asian cultures. And what General Yap perceived to be dedication as I wrote down all the notes he projected in slides was to me a form of distraction from the cold.

We tried to ease our situations, hiding our arms behind our bags and squeezing our hands between our armpits. Our request to have the AC switched off was denied by General Yap, who claimed himself to be completely useless should he perspire in the middle of the lesson. "When your laptop is running, you don't switch off the AC, do you?" Why yes, General Yap, as a matter of fact, I do.

More than half the lesson, Cadet Kelly and I huddled under the blue jacket Cadet Daniel so kindly provided us. (Thank you so much, Daniel!) Later still, Cadet Ah B, who sat behind us, also donated her jacket for the cause.

"I can't wait till class is over so I can defrost myself," Cadet Kelly murmured as I fantasised about hot cocoa from 7-11.

Admittedly, the class wasn't that bad. Although boring, it had its moments. Like when General Yap acknowledged Ilina as The Singaporean. And when Cadet Kai accidentally declared that Tan Cheng Lock was the one who was responsible for bringing Islam to Southeast Asia. General Yap nearly launched his shoe into the air for that one. "Which class are you from?" he asked Cadet Kai.

"Digi!" exclaimed Kai, the Illus cadet.

Thus, we have successfully, but accidentally, lowered the esteem of Digi cadets in General Yap's eyes. The end of class was greeted with a simultaneous sigh of relief as everyone woke up from their dazed stupor and clamoured to get out of the classroom. The warm, humid air of Kuala Lumpur had never felt better. And so, Cadet Tricia and I vowed to never be late to General Yap's class again. Let someone else brave the arctic cold!

Then, we happily skipped to Vision to buy some yellow acrylic paint, which costed nearly thirty ringgit, therefore successfully ruining our moods again.

TOA Cadet: Day 4

2009-09-11T18:07:00.004+08:00

0900 approached way too quickly again as I ran up the steps, hoping I'm not late. A couple of cadets near headquarters were lounging; lingering; and suddenly one of them says, "Yea, today is nine eleven. The day when the plane crashed into the building," he added needlessly.

Oh yea. Today was September 11. 102 Minutes That Changed America. The World Trade Centre. Osama bin Laden. Hijacked British Airways. A son onboard who managed to call his mother as the plane slammed into the side of the WTC. Eight years ago, this date became part of history.

Mention it to a friend and you'll probably get the customary look of supposed mourning, furrowed brows, maybe even a sigh if you're lucky. Only a matter of time, I think, before we forget all the sorrow and regret. We forgot emotions surrounding Nagasaki and Hiroshima, didn't we? Give it a few generations. Nine eleven will soon become obsolete too.

"When did you become so nihilistic?" asked Cadet Chua after class as we queued up to pay our fees.

I'm not. Not exactly anyway. I still maintain my religious views. Still struggling to remain a devout Christian. But yes, why do I feel so disheartened when I step through those glass doors? So certain that something bad is going to happen to me while I remain cadet here?

"Not very...it's kinda dark," General LCK said unsurely as he projected my piece of work in front of the class. "I don't know." He pressed the button and moved on to the next cadet.

I gritted my teeth as I thought back on his expression. Disapproving. Doubtful. I took another bite out of my pizza lunch as Cadet Thomas entertained the others with his witty quips. "I think this semester will weed out the less determined ones," he said, munching on his club sandwich, then wiping his hands and continuing his pencil portrait of Gerard Butler.

Yes, I thought. He was right.

On my own, I do not think I will see my Thermopylae. Not with the devil biting at my determination and my right of being here.

But there are some people I don't want to prove right and others, I don't want to prove wrong. So help me, Father. Grant me strength to pull through obstacles. For if Your favoured Daniel could grow up among the enemy, castrated and constantly tested, surely I can survive this simple training by Your Will. Remind me of Your presence that I will not uselessly seek help from an empty well. In Jesus' most precious name I pray, Amen.

2009-09-10T21:58:00.002+08:00

Happy day! Just found out that Keira Knightley is to star in the remake of My Fair Lady. Anyone else, and I'd probably be fuming because no one can replace Audrey Hepburn!

TOA Cadet: Day 3

2009-09-10T14:56:00.003+08:00

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'entrate, wrote Dante in the Inferno of his Divine Comedy. The last line of what he said was inscribed on the gate to hell. After Marker Visual class today, I think I am beginning to understand. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

The One Academy weeds out the weak the same way Spartans used to throw away deformed infants. The ones who remain struggle to prove themselves worthy of staying. This is the training for our Thermopylae. This will be a funny memory several years from now.

TOA Cadet: Day 2

2009-09-09T23:31:00.002+08:00

There were two classes lined up today to replace the one missed on Monday due to the public happy. The other cadets didn't seem to mind the arrangement but I could see some of them simmer with discontent. Fortunately, these negative feelings seemed to have faded (or rather morphed) into boredom during Introduction to Photography.

General David was a generous, apologetic ("sorry if I'm being long-winded") 50-something-year old man, whose experience boasted an education in Japan, works in Paris and a long decorated career in Leo Burnett as well as Ogilvy. But his long speech of introduction and encouragement, with the occasional Q and A session slipped in, drove us to a sleepy stupor, which I tried to rid of with a can of iced latte and a bar of Snickers during the break.

The first and second class was separated by a blissful 90 minute break, in which I spent having lunch at Zanmai with the other cadets. We met the Singaporean along the way and so dragged her along for a healthy Japanese meal.

We entered Cartoon Character Design (acronym: CCD) nary a minute late to find that the frames, canvas and paint for Illustration One have arrived. I still cringe thinking about the amount of work we have to do for that class.

Also to my surprise, Cadet Chua was present. After he had been absent earlier today and yesterday, I had thought that he had gone AWOL along with Cadet Hua Yuan (whose whereabouts are still untold). It was great to see that our numbers have strengthened by one and that some noise have returned to our squadron, thanks to him.

General Bryan and Lieutenant Zhuo Yu were in charge of us for this class. Cadet Kelly expressed doubt (and I'm understating here) about having General Bryan lead us. Cadet Tricia (and her beau) and I silently agreed, citing our previous dealings with General Bryan. But the general today was more lively than I remembered him as he pitched us into a discussion that raised our eyebrows.

"Why is he wearing shorts?" General Bryan enquired, pointing at the printed illustration of Detective Conan on a plastic bag.

"Because he is young?" I ventured.

"Yes. Now what is special about the shorts?" he went around asking, pointing for fervently at Conan's shorts and people backed away slightly in their seats.

"They have pockets?" I said.

"Yes! And why do they have pockets?"

Here, I exchanged looks with Cadet Kelly and Cadet Tricia, who were also looking at me incredulously. Yes...why indeed? Should we start demanding why short pants have pockets? The general went around asking some more. Despite the confused stares, he seemed more invigorated than ever. I tried to give it another go.

"Because he's on an adventure?"

"Yes!" Then the general went on to ramble about how Detective Conan was an example of a good design and was his favourite out of the four choices (which consisted of Sasuke, Luffy and Hitsugaya as well. Poor Hitsugaya got a thumbs down from the general. "I don't quite like this design.")

I'm not sure if the general had intended to be this funny but it works in keeping us awake throughout. At one point, he even asked what type of illustrations do we like, to which Cadet Chair replied, "One Piece."

"Ah," said General Bryan, understanding. "One piece jokes."

The class burst out at that one. Apparently, our general was unfamiliar with the adventures of Luffy and his pirate gang.

The end of class was filled with the hassle of getting our materials and Cadet Shaun reminding everyone to pay up by tomorrow. With some fumbling and clanking of the frames, I left the classroom in search of my friends, whose calls I had not taken in class. The outside world greeted me dry. The bullet gun costed RM 22.

TOA Cadet: Day 1

2009-09-08T20:30:00.003+08:00

I woke up at 0730 today from first day jitters and nervousness of not yet acquiring the time table for the next three months of my life. The subsequent hour was spent running about the house like a headless chicken until it was time to go. And in the ride to headquarters (read: TOA main block), I sat in silence, playing possible armageddon scenarios that could happen on this first day.

Headquarters was flooded with people, annoyed and confused. So I bypassed it in favour of being early for the 0930 Illustration One class in block M. It took a while for me to realise that the man, with whom I was privately racing with, was actually General Gan Chin Lee, who I later discovered, was no longer in charge of my squadron (Batch no. 851).

He looked thinner somehow. It must've been all that zen training under the mountain waterfall, I surmised as I entered the M1 class, and halted at the sight of unfamiliar faces. Was I in the wrong classroom? No, there were familiar faces as well.

The Singaporean was happily chatting with the new personnel. Were they POWs?

No, apparently they were new additions to our squadron. They had prior intel, which helped a lot during the class, and I found out that one of them (Cadet Nikki) was an otaku+yaoi fangirl. A rare find, as it were. A valuable one as yaoi fangirls are a force to be reckoned with.

But although we have new recruits, our numbers have lessened. I was dismayed to discover that a number of us have gone missing. Cadet Felix, Cadet Aster, Cadet Chua and Cadet Lex among them. And although Cadet Aaron had previously left us for another squadron, he happily intruded our class to part with souvenirs from Korea. The new lieutenant (whose name I forgot, only that his initial were JT) didn't seem to mind at all.

After class and lunch, I returned to headquarters in hopes of getting my time table. Alas, I could not find them but bumped into Cadet Joanna, who was waiting for her brother, and Comrade Ajeet, who was leaving the cause to pursue a path that decreed more freedom. He was there to hand in his withdrawal form, but was made to wait however, because the counters were flooded with people, who were keen to renew their visas (read: failed a subject and so was looking for their new time table).

The first day at cadet training promises much work and suffering but yours truly will prevail, if only to prove to the folks that (s)he can!

2009-09-07T17:44:00.003+08:00

Here's a sombre toast to the end of the short semester break, during which I have achieved nothing other than bubble with distasteful depression as one by one, my friends and family leave the coop.

The one kicking off first is Deepaa, who will be leaving on the 12th to Birmingham.

Next is my brother and my cousin Gary, who will be going to London and Scotland respectively on the 14th.

Joshua Lau himself will be departing for Manchester on the early morning of the 17.

And yours truly stares deadly at her laptop, wondering what she has been doing for the past year or so. Trying to stay alive, mostly. Struggling to keep afloat in the tide of assignments with no help from her annoying habit of procrastinating.

So buck up, JACK! The world isn't going to wait for you. So don't wait for it any more.

2009-08-25T23:52:00.002+08:00

Things I wanna do before the (incredibly) short holiday is over:

bake cookies
go rock-climbing
do a colour pencil piece
meet up with friends
finish a short story
eat a strawberry parfait at the Curve while reading a Cathy Yardley novel

2009-08-23T20:59:00.002+08:00

Upon the ending of one semester, this one finally has the time to watch movies. But despite ensuing arguments, coercions and persuasions, her cinapek companion insisted on one of either two movies: Orphan or I Love You, Beth Cooper, and refused to watch Up with me. The end result is an unhealthy dosage of Hayden Panettiere. Therefore, I am now consoling myself by watching trailers on Apple.com.

2009-08-22T12:08:00.002+08:00

The Raven King

"You are thinking of John Uskglass as if he were an ordinary man. I mean a man like you or me. He was brought up and educated in Faerie. He is an old magician and an old king. Two things that are not easily impressed."

2009-08-22T12:00:00.002+08:00

When a friend calls to me from the road

And slows his horse to a meaning walk

I don't stand still and look around

On all the hills I haven't hoed

And shout from where I am, 'What is it?'

No, not as there is a time talk

I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground

Blade end up and five feet tall

And plod: I go up to the stone wall

For a friendly visit.

2009-08-21T19:22:00.004+08:00

Wei Li...

...is watching Jamie Oliver because he makes me wanna learn how to cook.

...is enjoying Coffee Bean's White Chocolate Dream Latte.

...watched the trailer for M. Night Shamalayan's The Last Airbender and can't wait to watch it!

...is a fan of Tom Hollander.

"My Phone Number is 012 XXXXX24"

2009-08-21T00:00:00.000+08:00

I wonder why this has been going on recently. Somehow, friends have been organising outings and that I would somehow miraculously attend despite the fact that no one has informed me about it until some other clueless friend calls me up and asks, "Are you going?"

Of course, I smartly reply, "Huh?", "What are you talking about?" or something along those lines.

Common sense dictates that unless someone tells me about the outing, I can neither know about it nor confirm whether I will be attending. Unless, by some amusing coincidence that all my friends have gotten acquainted with some other fellow with the name of Wei Li because, unsurprisingly, I'm not the only Wei Li in Malaysia.

Rest assured that if there is an outing with friends, I would always be more than happy to attend if I don't have any other plans on the appointed time and day. But please tell me next time - and not on the day itself, a few hours before the rendezvous time either! - before telling everyone else that, "Oh, Wei Li is coming too!"

"Memories from WUaC"

2009-08-20T23:52:00.008+08:00

It goes without saying that Wish Upon a Crane had been an awesome experience for me. Even now, I'm still reeling from all the wonderful memories I've gained from the single month of production and two nights of performances.

But here are the collection of photos I've taken over time.

Almost every one, a funny story behind it.

Ming (right) and I were automatically casted as the Black Spirits, roles we embraced right from the beginning because, really, who better to play evil spirits than twin deviants?

Ming's first meeting with Joshua JC King a.k.a. the emo ghost who must build FIRE LANES!

Rehearsing in partial costume.

Hard to believe, but I'm actually the one wearing black.

GATTAI!

Me posing around with granny's red fan.

A spirits' love affair.

The costume shop where we got our white make-up.

Inside.

"Hmmm...."

"?"

I liek this hat best! XD

Rehearsing the procession scene where Jane (the grandma) has to be brought in on bamboo sticks.

Fixing the kimono by the lantern.

Having a very late dinner.

Hi, granny!

Hey Anna!

Anna, looking like muslimah in white spirit garb.

Posing in the toilet before the performance.

(Joshua's the one in white)

I very lazy nak rotate the photos.

Funny face PLS!

"We look like KISS."

"Nah, we look like the Crow."

Same difference.

Do the rocker thang!

Emo black spirit.

Angry black spirit.

Horny black spirit with Aizat, LOL

Olli and Jenny

My harem.

Fruitcake and Kat.

Have a nice flight to Sarawak, Jane!

Don't you dare forget us, or we spam you on MyFace!

"Sunday Night on the Floor"

2009-08-16T22:53:00.003+08:00

This...feels so weird.

Sitting at home at night, alone, doing work, without the company of cast mates preparing make-up, practicing dance steps and fooling around. Why did our play only have two showings? Most plays have much more than that.

I want to be with everyone longer.

I want to have fun with them.

I want to bow in front of the audience with everyone again.

"And I took the Road Less Taken"

2009-08-16T09:15:00.001+08:00

Man, the previous two nights have been some of the best in my life so far. Nineteen years of walking this earth and I can tell you that not much beats the high of performing a good show onstage. You have your friends and costars right next to you, grasping your hands for another bow. I had my best friend paint her face, neck and ears white with me so that we could play our roles and scare the kids in the second row. And best of all, I had my friends and family in the audience.

Josh, Chris, Luther, Siew Por, Naz, Dharma, Arjun, Ariza, Jowena, Kel, Li Wei and Amanda came! Even Ajeet and Gary (the lecturer, not Pyoong's boyfriend) made it for the Saturday night showing.

The Wish Upon a Crane play had been an awesome experience for me, even if I had to sacrifice a lot of time and undergo lots of anxiety due to assignments yet unfinished. Even now, I'm crunching time to finish IF and VF finals; the latter, which I have yet to begin.

But if I pray hard enough, I know God will help me finish everything in time.

Thank you, Father, for the amazing experience you've allowed me to have. Thank you for introducing to me so many new and interesting personalities with whom I hope I will have a long friendship. I hope to see them again sometime soon for coffee because we were too darn tired yesternight night to celebrate. May we all meet again should this play be re-staged at the end of the year.

In Jesus' most precious name, Amen.

I'll post up what photos I have when I have the time on Tuesday. But I expect there'll be photos up on facebook by then! LOL

2009-08-02T15:03:00.000+08:00

Medicine and breakfast

2009-08-02T14:44:00.000+08:00

Hitler complaining about Streamyx

I don't care what you were doing, you have to go watch it now.

"Dinner"

2009-07-31T20:52:00.000+08:00

The amount of work I get from college is actually inversely proportional to how much I communicate with the people at home. Meaning, the more work I get, I less I talk to them. But the opposite doesn't always hold true, I'm afraid. I'm the type of person who wouldn't speak to her family for a week and not notice. (I'm such a bad child.)

But that's not the point I'm trying to get through here.

One day, whilst eating dinner like a zombie, my mother asked if I could skip church in favour of finishing up my work.

"NO!"

"I'm sure everyone skips once in a while."

"No. Sunday is the Sabbath. I have to dedicate that day to God. Unless I'm physically unwell or I'm out of the country or something, there's no way I'm not going to church."

"What if I'm ill? Will you leave me and go to church?"

"No," I admitted. "I'll take care of you. I'll just have to pray with you."

Here, my mother's smile twitched. I swallowed my rice and waited for her to say something. But she didn't. So I asked nervously, "Are you going to say something?"

"No."

"You look like you want to."

She didn't reply to that either. I hope she'll one day realise that Jesus can help her. He's helped me bear and cope with everything thus far. Ms. Joy said that when a person becomes a Christian, his family is blessed as well. Aunty Siew May has been waiting for her parents to receive Christ for thirty years.

Thirty years of estrangement. I hope my parents won't need that long.

"We are Ignorant Fools, say HEY!"

2009-07-31T17:01:00.000+08:00

There are moral lessons taught everywhere all the time, all around us. Most commonly shown on cheesy television programmes; may it be cartoons or long drawn out TVB dramas about filial piety. We're so surrounded with revelations impregnated with moral lessons that even we began to tire of it and can easily say, 'Oh, I know what the lesson in this is. It's... so and so and so, therefore we should bla bla bla and bla.'

We already know it all. We don't need to learn those lessons again.

Then why are we still stuck in the same place?

If the lesson is learned, we should be moving forward. Matters that are problematic today should be smooth sailing tomorrow. The only reason why it shouldn't is because (ding! ding! ding! that's right!) we actually haven't learn our lesson.

Filial piety, humility, respect, consideration, selflessness, etc. We know all the values; seen them played and replayed in various programmes and children's stories. Most of us don't take it to heart. Because we think we already know it. We think we are better than the people who are being taught a lesson.

"I would never make a mistake like that."

Not the exact same mistake probably, but a mistake that misses the point of the moral value? Most likely. Take a good look at yourself. If you think you're better than other people, you need to look again. Look at other people. Note the similarities in your character, not your problems.

And stop terrorising me. Stop making me reach for the door every time I hear your voice. And for once, I wish you would listen to me. Really listen, and not just nod along and launch into another one of your tirades.

2009-07-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

BLIMEY

Luther is back!

Luther is back in Malaysia!

Bleeping Luther has been back in Malaysia for almost a month and I'm finding out about it only now after he decided to give me a call starting with, "Do you know who I am?" stalker-like routine!

Chris Liew Chin Meng, Imma gonna kill you for not warning me!

"Cold Coffee Musing"

2009-07-30T22:16:00.000+08:00

There is a cup of Ipoh White Coffee 3-in-1 on my table. I'd left it there before leaving for college earlier this morning without finishing it because I was already vibrating from caffeine OD.

When I returned home, it was still there and the bit I'd not drunk is still in there. It's hilarious that no matter how I ask everyone not to mess with my stuff, they still come in as they please and pick up the mess I leave behind but somehow leave the cold coffee alone.

...if I drink that bit of cold coffee, will I get a stomachache?

I mean, I've drunk coffee left out for a long time before. Once, I bought a cup of hazelnut latte with triple shots espresso from Coffee Bean but couldn't finish it in one go. That one small cup lasted me till evening the next day (I hid it in my cupboard so no one would throw it away) and even then the espresso tasted so good.

Drool...I love you Coffee Bean.

Hmm...maybe I should just taste it...see if it still tastes good.

Starbucks doesn't. I tried the same trick with a cup of Starbucks triple shot vanilla latte but by the following morning, it smelt like hamster food and made me sick. Yea, I think I'll just take a sip. If it's gone bad, I'll just compensate with some instant hot chocolate.

"Austin Chase and Cupcake Chic"

2009-07-27T11:34:00.000+08:00

Yesterday before the Anniversary Thanksgiving was due to start at JIC, I wandered around Pavilion a while, looking for a place to sit down so I could drink my coffee (hazelnut latte, triple shot, skinny, coffee bean) in peace and get rid of my burgeoning headache. Coffee is my panacea. It used to be paracetemol until I discovered that Panadol stays in your stomach for seven years, or something along those lines.

Then I noticed that there were two new additions to the lower level, not far from where the food court is. One was Austin Chase Coffee. The first thing that crossed my mind when I saw that was Ozzie actor Jesse Spencer - who is an absolute fitty, by the way - who plays Dr. Robert Chase in House M.D.. But that's just my inner fangirl taking control.

According to Google, Austin Chase Coffee from Seattle and is award-winning so I'm definitely going to give it a try. Pity I already had one cup in my hand otherwise I would've immediately tried their Toffee Latte. Seems to be cheaper than Coffee Bean too.

The other addition is Cupcake Chic. I think they have another branch at the Curve. And though their cupcakes look so delectable and fattening that you can feel the pounds adding on just by staring at them, I don't think I'll be purchasing anything from that store any time soon because the prices are atrocious.

RM4.50 for one cupcake. Sorry, but I'll pass. I try to keep coffee as my only vice for now.

"Let the weak say I am Strong, let the poor say I am Rich" - Give Thanks

2009-07-26T19:36:00.000+08:00

Who has believed our message

and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed

He grew up before him like a tender shoot

and like a root out of dry ground

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him

Nothing in his appearance that we should desire him

He was despised and rejected by men

A man of sorrows and familiar with suffering

One from whom men hide their faces

He was despised and we esteemed him not

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows

Yet we considered him stricken by God

smitten by him and afflicted

But he was pierced for our transgressions

He was crushed for our iniquities

The punishment that brought us peace was upon him

And be his wounds we are healed

We all like sheep have gone astray

Each of us has turned to his own way

So the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all

He was oppressed and afflicted

Yet he did not open his mouth

He was led like a lamb to the slaughter

and as a sheep before her shearers is silent

So he did not open his mouth

By oppression and judgement he was taken away

and who can speak of his descendants?

For he was cut off from the land of the living

For the transgression of my people, he was stricken

Yet it was the Lord's will to crush him and cause him to suffer

And though the Lord makes his life a guilt offering

He will live to see his offspring and prolong his days

And the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand

After the suffering of his soul

He will see the light of life and be satisfied

By his knowledge, my righteous servant will justify many

and he will bear their iniquities

Therefore, I will give him a portion among the great

and he will divide the spoils with the strong

because he poured out his life unto death

and was numbered with the transgressors

For he bore the sin of many

and made intercession for the transgressors.

Isaiah 53 is a prophecy about Jesus Christ and the suffering his would bear for our sins. It was also the chapter Amanda, Joshua and I had to recite for JIC's Anniversary Thanksgiving earlier tonight, and while we tried a little unsuccessfully to make it a choral speaking piece, I'm just glad that everyone remembered their lines. Though I think all of us had minor slips here and there.

I walked into the assembly hall earlier than the other two with a small cup of hot coffee gone cold (hazelnut latte, triple shot skinny, thanks) and hair still a little mussed from the catnap I took in the backseat of a car.

Ms. Joy then insisted that I go change into the frilly white blouse that Auntie Siew May lent to me earlier this morning because I simply didn't look presentable in my faded red tee and black flip-flops, later replaced with Auntie Siew May's white sandals, which gave me sea legs.

And I prayed that no one took a photo of me in that outfit because I was constantly fidgeting with the blouse and Josh's comments ("You still don't look like a girl.") didn't help much with my self-esteem. I didn't stay for the rest of events after my recitation was over though and am sort of regretting it because the choir sounded wonderful and sitting next to Iris was fun.

But it's time to sort out my whacked out priorities and according to the updated list, not failing Typography Fundamental comes first.

Father, please bless me withe the determination and inspiration to finish my work tonight and that I will be able to pass my subjects despite my lousy attitude early in the term. And also, I pray that I will be able to attend the JIC BBQ party on August 8. While I do know that attending my cousin's wedding is important, I feel that I will be of more use helping out at the party than congratulating a cousin whose face I do not remember and with whom I exchange less than 50 words a year.

Star Trek: excerpt

2009-07-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

"The younger man carried no baggage save for unfulfilled expectations."

- describing James T. Kirk before boarding the shuttle for new Starfleet recruits.

Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling

2009-07-06T21:26:00.000+08:00

I gotta feeling
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

A feeling
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

A feeling (Ooo-hoo)
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

A feeling (Ooo-hoo)
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night
A feel....

Tonight's the night
Let's live it up
I got my money
Let's spend it up

Go out and smash it
Like, oh my God!
Jump off that sofa
Let's get - get off

I know that we'll have a ball
If we get down and go out
And just lose it all

I feel stressed out
I wanna let it go
Let's go way out spaced out
And losing all control

Fill up my cup
Mazel tov
Look at her dancing
Just take it...off

Let's paint the town
We'll shut it down
Let's burn the roof
And then we'll do it again

Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it
Let's do it, and do it, and do it
Let's live it up

And do it, and do it, and do it, do it, do it
Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it

'Cause I gotta feeling (Ooo-hoo)
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

A feeling (Ooo-hoo)
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night
A feel....

Tonight's the night (Hey!)
Let's live it up (Let's live it up!)
I got my money (I'm paid!)
Let's spend it up (Let's spend it up!)

Go out and smash it (Smash it!)
Like, oh my God! (Like, oh my God!)
Jump off that sofa (Come on!)
Let's get - get off

Fill up my cup (Drink)
Mazel tov (L'Chaim)
Look at her dancing (Move it! Move it!)
Just take it...off

Let's paint the town (Paint the town!)
We'll shut it down (Shut it down!)
Let's burn the roof
And then we'll do it again

Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it (Let's do it!)
Let's do it, and do it (Do it!), and do it
Let's live it up

And do it (Do it!), and do it (And do it!), and do it (Hey!), do it (Hey!), do it (And do it!)
Let's do it (And do it), let's do it (And do it), let's do it (Hey!), do it (Hey!), do it (Hey!), do it

Here we come, here we go
We gotta rock (Rock, rock, rock, rock)

Easy come, easy go
Now we on top (Top, top, top, top)

Feel the shot, body rock
Rock it, don't stop (Stop, stop, stop, stop)

Round and round, up and down
Around the clock (Clock, clock, clock, clock)

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday (Do it!)
Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday (Do it!)

Get-get-get-get-get with us
You know what we say (say)
Party every day
P-p-p-party every day

And I'm feeling (Ooo-hoo)
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

A feeling (Ooo-hoo)
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

Ooo-hoo!

Honestly, the reason this song caught my attention was because they had 'mazel tov' in it.