Saturday, December 5, 2009

This is a game I was playing by myself when taking a dump just to see how weird my vocabulary and thought process are. The point is to write down the first word that comes to your mind starting with the following letters:-

a anxious
b bulbous
c cataract
d derogative
e err
f fallacious
g gargantuan
h hellenistic
i idiosyncrasy
j jugular
k kevlar
l lobotomy
m moribund
n neurological
o optical
p postulate
q quandary
r rectify
s silence
t testicular
u ubiquitous
v vivacious
w worship
x xylophone
y yarn
z zeitgeist

I really don't want to know what this says about my character.
Coming out of the shower and toweling my hair, I ask, "Do you realise that by next year I will have the digit 2 in front of my age?"

My sister, lying idly on the bed in front of the boob tube, spares me a glance. "Yea. That's good, right?"

"I feel so old. I feel like I should be engaged or something."

"Why?" was the curious reply.

Because yesterday I had a dream in which I had a baby and was getting married in Ontario. "Because that's what adults do," I retort lamely. My gaze wanders over the the slim white box sitting on my table. "What's this?"

"Open it," my sister says.

"You're not gonna tell me what it is?"

"Open it."

It's a framed picture of her graduating from some CIMB course with a title I don't remember. It came with a framed certificate as well. "It smells good."


"Yea. Smells like new books."

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Earlier tonight, a huge fight ensued over my eating habits. Not lack thereof mind you, but rather how I've abstained from meat and fish for an indefinite amount of time. The initial time frame was one month ("Isn't your one month over yet?!") but I've let it drag on because believe it or not, I liked being vegetarian ... aside from sushi cravings and that one little time I had huge servings of chicken rice because it was Coco's mom who made it. 

But the aforementioned fight didn't even involve me. At least, not in the vocal sense. No, I was staring pensively at my dinner while my family shouted at each other in the background. 

Funny how I try to be a good daughter and yet end up making my family do nothing but worry about it, whether it be eating choices, or career paths. Fortunately, they never found out about my past pseudo-promiscuity and therefore have had no reason to worry about that. And I use the p word very lightly.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Man, it's like TOA is testing all the faith I have in myself. The second half of this semester has been a string of highs and lows, with most of the highs coming from circumstances outside TOA and the lows coming from within.

Today, not only did I learn that I should not have deleted the soft copy of my previous photography assignments (because we have to compile it in a CD and pass it to David on Monday), I also realised that my 'art sense' is nonexistent. I'd elaborate further but it'd only make me look like a sorrier fuck that I already am so I'm going to skip all the sordid details on the blows to my crumbling self-esteem. 

I think the only upside today was successfully wheedling David for his contact number, for which I then 'rewarded' him with a Beauty and the Beast duet with Sandy. The uplifting moments of my days are usually the opportunities I have to make a fool of myself. Bet that tells you something disturbing about me, dunnit?

Well, I'm off to continue feeling like a hopeless degenerate. Cheers.

Random note: I so wish David could be my grandpa! 

Monday, November 30, 2009

"You ever getting out of here?"

"Why?" Eyebrow raise. "You lookin' to pay?"

Head turn. "Nope."

"Yea. I am."