Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Will no one learn Na'vi with me? T__T

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Productiveness level: 1% (attended and am now part of Youth Ministry Council)

There is exactly a week left in my hols. I should get started on that human body study Generals LCK and Way Chyuan have assigned. I should not be attempting to pick up the Na'vi language because there aren't many people who speak it. Even less of a chance that someone around me would attempt to learn it. But my inner fangirl is saying go for it!


Kaltxì. Ngaru lu fpom srak?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Productiveness level: 0% (Asimov is turning his nose up on me. I just know it.)

I watched 'Avatar' and

I love Zoe Saldana. She's so beautiful even when she's portraying a non-human. 

Part of me wonders if I love her even more because her characteristics - movement-wise and emotional reaction-wise - were less stereotypically human. That's a rather odd phrase, isn't it. 

'Stereotypically human'. But it's fitting considering how many of us conform to social norms like lemmings.

In any case, James Cameron's Avatar is definitely a movie to keep on your shelf once the DVD comes out. Can't wait for the release in fact, just so I can re-watch it on my laptop and watch all the behind-the-scenes goodies.

The awesomeness (really, we should start banning that word on the account of how often our gen Y uses it) of Avatar even quenches my disappointment of not being able to watch Princess and the Frog even though it's been released for ages. 

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Productiveness: 0.3 % (on the account for some digital painting)

Was rifling through stuff today and found some of my old artwork, done sometime around lower secondary school years methinks, and all I could think was blimey, I was such a spazz. I used to draw these characters with cigs cause I thought they were cool but their coolness level were definitely damaged by the horrendous clothes I put them in as well as the weird limb-like protrusions some would call arms. 

I want to burn them but my lighters (all three of them) are out of oil and my lighter fluid has gone missing since semester one. 

Old artwork wasn't the only thing I dug up. Pulled up some old online urls and found some of the drivel I used to pen when I was 12. Yep. 12. I was not a very bright 12-year old, let me tell you that. I used to insert dramatic sentences in italic because - once again - I thought it'd be cool but in truth, it just makes you want to laugh at the foolishness of the author. 

Those who read it and actually liked it must either be foolish as well or might've been 12-year olds like me. I'm glad I don't write like that anymore but it makes me wonder if my current writing would make my future self cringe. 

Monday, December 14, 2009

"Are those underwear?"


"Whose are they?"


"Are you sure these'll fit you?"


"You're right. They will. How much did they cost?"


Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sorry for being an ass (><)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I let Matin use my lipgloss. 

...I have nothing against the guy but ICK! (>///<)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Final Weekend Movie Spree as in the stuff I play on my laptop while I worked through the hours...

500 Days of Summer This is not a love story.
Good Will Hunting My wife. She used to fart when she was nervous.
The Bourne Identity He went out the window. Why would he do that?
Numbers Season 2 and 3 
House M.D. Season 5


The Talented Mr. Ripley
The Fountain
Slumdog Millionaire
The 24th Day
Fight Club
Roman Holiday
"Actually, you're good at this."

Oh wow. Finally.

After nearly eighteen months, my mom acknowledges that I may be a trifle good at art.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

This is a game I was playing by myself when taking a dump just to see how weird my vocabulary and thought process are. The point is to write down the first word that comes to your mind starting with the following letters:-

a anxious
b bulbous
c cataract
d derogative
e err
f fallacious
g gargantuan
h hellenistic
i idiosyncrasy
j jugular
k kevlar
l lobotomy
m moribund
n neurological
o optical
p postulate
q quandary
r rectify
s silence
t testicular
u ubiquitous
v vivacious
w worship
x xylophone
y yarn
z zeitgeist

I really don't want to know what this says about my character.
Coming out of the shower and toweling my hair, I ask, "Do you realise that by next year I will have the digit 2 in front of my age?"

My sister, lying idly on the bed in front of the boob tube, spares me a glance. "Yea. That's good, right?"

"I feel so old. I feel like I should be engaged or something."

"Why?" was the curious reply.

Because yesterday I had a dream in which I had a baby and was getting married in Ontario. "Because that's what adults do," I retort lamely. My gaze wanders over the the slim white box sitting on my table. "What's this?"

"Open it," my sister says.

"You're not gonna tell me what it is?"

"Open it."

It's a framed picture of her graduating from some CIMB course with a title I don't remember. It came with a framed certificate as well. "It smells good."


"Yea. Smells like new books."

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Earlier tonight, a huge fight ensued over my eating habits. Not lack thereof mind you, but rather how I've abstained from meat and fish for an indefinite amount of time. The initial time frame was one month ("Isn't your one month over yet?!") but I've let it drag on because believe it or not, I liked being vegetarian ... aside from sushi cravings and that one little time I had huge servings of chicken rice because it was Coco's mom who made it. 

But the aforementioned fight didn't even involve me. At least, not in the vocal sense. No, I was staring pensively at my dinner while my family shouted at each other in the background. 

Funny how I try to be a good daughter and yet end up making my family do nothing but worry about it, whether it be eating choices, or career paths. Fortunately, they never found out about my past pseudo-promiscuity and therefore have had no reason to worry about that. And I use the p word very lightly.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Man, it's like TOA is testing all the faith I have in myself. The second half of this semester has been a string of highs and lows, with most of the highs coming from circumstances outside TOA and the lows coming from within.

Today, not only did I learn that I should not have deleted the soft copy of my previous photography assignments (because we have to compile it in a CD and pass it to David on Monday), I also realised that my 'art sense' is nonexistent. I'd elaborate further but it'd only make me look like a sorrier fuck that I already am so I'm going to skip all the sordid details on the blows to my crumbling self-esteem. 

I think the only upside today was successfully wheedling David for his contact number, for which I then 'rewarded' him with a Beauty and the Beast duet with Sandy. The uplifting moments of my days are usually the opportunities I have to make a fool of myself. Bet that tells you something disturbing about me, dunnit?

Well, I'm off to continue feeling like a hopeless degenerate. Cheers.

Random note: I so wish David could be my grandpa! 

Monday, November 30, 2009

"You ever getting out of here?"

"Why?" Eyebrow raise. "You lookin' to pay?"

Head turn. "Nope."

"Yea. I am."

Friday, November 27, 2009

After that terrible Tuesday, I would seriously like to thank the LORD my God for blessing today with such a marvelous start. 

Though I woke up later than intended, I bumped into Joshua in FB and the big guy always manages to cheer me up, even if he doesn't know it. It's probably the fact that I can act like an idiot in front of him. We go way back (sorta) so he expects it of me! (lol)

On a sadder note, he won't be coming back to KL for either Christmas or Easter break. Consolation: I still get Daryl from Oz for Christmas break. We're going to down mojitos, swap stories and paint the town red!

Before I could get started on work this morning, my father snatched me from home to have breakfast together (a first in n number of years!) in Amcorp Mall, where the Big Bad Book Sale is being held. At half past nine, we were having a cheap breakfast of half-boiled eggs and kaya butter toast in the middle of stores that had yet to be opened. I had doubts that the book sale had started yet and wondered if I had come too early.

45 minutes past nine, my father and I climbed the three flights of escalators (following another couple like lemmings) and discovered that we were not alone (cue X-files theme music). My father started laughing as my jaw dropped. I quickly sent a text message to my third (and favourite) wife, who was working as cashier for the book sale.

From: Terry
To: Honey

Hey Ming, there is a ginormous line in front. Am I at the right place? Is there like a limit as to how many ppl can enter at once?

From: Honey
To: Terry

If really too many people then we limit. The crowd is the right place. Scary, right?

Yes, it was very scary. The last time I witnessed such a large crowd was when I went to Kinokuniya on the day Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was set to release. I had woken up late, gone to KLCC with Su, only to give up upon seeing the line that had snaked its way across the entire floor, starting from the bookstore.

The crowd in front of the empty warehouse lot set-up for the book sale was similar, if not scarier. As the gate opened, I leaned back and took a video as the people pushed in; a fierce Indian lady screaming at people who deigned to cut in as they did so. 

Several people were thanking, congratulating and patting the Indian lady on the back for keeping the order. 

All of these people were Chinese =3.

At that point, I had pretty much given up on getting inside and told my Honey so, until Martin (my Honey's little brother) phoned me up, saying that he was in the queue with the rest of the family and asked if I would like to join them. 

Yes. I would love to, indeed XD.

Once I was in, I couldn't believe I was. I consulted Martin for the map that my Honey drew of the place (yes, they actually had a map to help navigate around the book sale!) and tried to find my way to the design section to no avail. When I finally did, I realised that most of the good stuff had probably been taken yesterday, because all I found were titles like Making Clay Models, Draw Manga, Tips for Scrapbooking, Watercolour Techniques, etc. 

I must've weirded out a few people because I kept wheezing for breath as I squeezed through boxes, baskets, trolleys and suitcases (yep. These people came prepared! A couple of people were even wearing gloves!), and to my utmost horror, failing to avoid touching the general public. I think I have accidentally accosted at least three people in my attempt to browse through the towers of books, and not all of them were beautiful or young. *clears throat*

At one point, I kept asking to be excused, pardoned and forgiven, that I assimilated "M'sorry" and "Excuse me" to "M'scuse me", which made no sense at all to whoever who even bothered to listen instead of sticking their butts way out far as they bent over to reach for books. 

Martin was a walking library/bookstore. Slung around his shoulder was a sports bag filled to the brim with Horrible Science/History books ("I am so coming over for a reading spree!) and in his arms was a box filled with books his mother had picked out. About 2 out of every 5 person in the joint were hoisting boxes filled with ridiculously cheap books.

How cheap is cheap, you ask?

Well, Tokyopop manga for RM5 ($1.50).
And novels ranging from RM5 to RM12. 

No wonder the people went crazy.

After I completed my run and got my books, I said goodbye to my Honey, who was working at the credit card counter. She was so busy that we could only afford a long distance hug goodbye. I hope she doesn't get too exhausted today because apparently, yesterday had been havoc. Pushing, scuffling, jumping in lines and yelling. I'm glad I wasn't there. (O___O)

Before jumping into the car, my father bought me some Starbucks (which is disgusting, but still coffee, so meh). 

So, my wonderful morning is made out of thus: IM with Josh, momentous breakfast with father, seeing my Honey, getting cheap books and (bad) coffee. 

Thank you for your blessings, Father. I am cheered up^^

Thursday, November 26, 2009

"Excuse me, did you just say pon farr?"

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I am self-destructing. Even though I know what I have to do, I don't do it. Like the wires that connect my body to the command centre of my entire mechanism has somehow corroded like the gasoline line in old Guadajahara and it's only a matter of time before I spontaneously combust.

I've always thought it miraculous that I've managed to survive in TOA for this long. I'm not particularly gifted in the arts, and neither do my interests rest solely in that area. 

When Jeff told me to be ready to sacrifice a few hobbies, I stubbornly refused to listen and merely tried to incorporate all the extra work into my current style of living. I didn't want to give up anything. Not Church, not reading, not writing, not watching documentaries, not creating new worlds in my head whenever I zone out. 

But as a result, I can't get everything done on time. And as the weeks drag by, I'm starting to realise that I won't be able to make it. At some point, I'm going to break. It might be this semester; although there's only a coupla weeks left, I already felt so stretched out. Or perhaps next semester which would undoubtedly be harder than this one. I'm not looking forward to the increased amount of painting I'd have to face.

And the number one thing that gets to me now is that I haven't been able to see Ming in quite a while. I used to visit her every week but because I'm constantly rushing acryclic paintings or cartoon character designs this semester, I only see her one every two weeks at best. I want to celebrate the end of her A-levels with her. I want to goof around together and take funny photos, and generally spend time with her before she flies off to Singapore this year.

I hate the backlog of work I've inadvertently accumulated for myself in my foolishness. I hate myself right now. I wish someone would punch me in the face and give me a proper wake-up call. 

Sunday, November 22, 2009


Saturday, November 14, 2009

Father: Your mother's not taking you out for dinner, so find something to eat okay.

Me: *stares* That's a really fugly shirt.

Father: Huh?

Me: That's a really fugly shirt.

Father: Funny?

Me: Fugly. 

Father: What's that?

Me: As in... really ugly. Why do you even like that shirt?

Father: Not nice ar?

Me: Something about it screams ghey!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

"And then your brother sent me an sms ending with i love u."

I stared at my mother, wide-eyed, jaw hung and mind struggling for words. "Uhm, I guess, fraternisation with Westerners have - have altered his Asian ... Asian non ... non- confrontatio..."

Words failed me.
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun
The higher he's a-getting
The sooner will his race be run
And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Time still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time
And while ye may, go marry
For having lost but once your prime
You may for ever tarry.

- Robert Herrick, To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time

Admittedly, I have been indulging in Dead Poet's Society again.
I will show you something different from either 
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you
I will show you fear in a handful of dust

- T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

Currently a little obsessed with reading old works. Vonnegut, Woolf, Whitman, Lovecraft, Faulkner. 2BR02B by Vonnegut is an absolute keeper, by the way! It's downloadable at Project Gutenberg.

Monday, November 9, 2009

(Thisis so screwed up, but darn if it isn't funny!

Watch it nao!

For realsies, babe. For realsies.

Jim Bones

This is dangerous. 

I'm floating away like the balloon that is accidentally cut off from the rest of the bunch and try as I might, I cannot regroup with the rest. The metaphor is poetic, unlike the real situation at hand. 

Mother called yesterday and it took me ten minutes to convince her that I wasn't dying in my own filth while surveying the general orderliness (or lack thereof) of my apartment. Chocolate wrappers shoved to one side underneath strips of leftover scrap paper, discarded coffee cans - some only half empty, strips of dried acrylic paint adhered to the parquet and the thumb drives hidden in nooks and corners I could never seem to find. 

Yep, the situation was bad. 

Jee slapped me on the head during the one time she visited, asking me to get a grip and clean myself up. But I don't think they have rehabs for conditions like these. They have parents' homes. 

Saturday, October 31, 2009

I can't really tell if the triple-shot latte is not doing its work or whether it's because last night's sleep was a mix of short naps strewn over the side of Tricia's bed and passing out like the dead on the mattress under her bed. 

Mom says that I'm already pushing it with three shots of espresso in a regular cuppa joe, since my heart wasn't a very strong one to begin with. But now, I'm starting to feel that the triple-shot cuppas only serve to give me this short spurts of orgasmic bliss taste-wise, rather than serve the initial purpose of warding away the voices that command me to sleep.

On a brighter note, Happy Halloween to all. Though not our tradition, I hope you get at least one free piece of candy.

Friday, October 30, 2009

TOA Cadet: Day 48

Spent the last night at Cadet Tricia's place, painting an acrylic portrait of one Steven Spielberg, who, thanks to me, now looks like he has a tan and the smoothest skin on the planet. The work isn't done yet though, so I decided to intrude on Cadet Tricia's hospitality for one more night. 

Was slightly delusional during Light and Mood Study session today. Started singing out of the blue and had to hit myself to stop. Think I scared Cadet Pei Yoong a little, bless. At some point during the day, I started singing High School Musical and knew that after one all-nighter, I have lost it. 

Fortunately, I wasn't the only cadet in my squadron who had.

Half the squadron trekked the sunny plains of Malacca the day before, (my slot had been on Tuesday) so they were listless and tired as well and the general could see it in our work. He dismissed us at the end of the session, allowing us to bring back and refine our work, due for next week. A good half of us protested because we wanted nothing more to hand in our stuff and rid our hands of it so we can pour more concentration on other, more stifling assignments. The acrylic painting for example. The gargantuan workload due for Marker Visual the coming Thursday another example.

Not to mention the test for S.E.A. tomorrow. Ah, bitter sorrow.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Evemurmurs' To-Eat List
  1. Mac 'n' Cheese at TGIF
  2. Beef Chili Cheese Fries at Carls' Junior
  3. Reuben sandwich at Delicious
  4. The new doughnut selection at Big Apple
soon shall be introducing Arthur Ono, my new Nikon D60 baby, to the world. 

TOA Cadet: Day 45

I graced Malacca with my presence and got sunburnt for it. Go figure. Aloe vera gel makes my eyes water (>__<).

Monday, October 26, 2009

Evemurmurs 2

"Are you talking to yourself?"

I paused mid-stride along the row of shop, threw my questioner a mirthless smirk, and went on my way. Several second later, I picked up the conversation again.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

TOA Cadet: Day 42

As General LCK pressed through slides of our work, the ring I usually wore on my thumb dropped from between my fiddling fingers and rolled away into the darkness between work stations (a miniature Bermuda Triangle, if you will). I immediately peered over the top of my seat, trying to spot a glint of fake silver amongst the dark blue carpeting.

"What are you searching for?" asked Lieutenant General Wei Chuan, who noticed my bobbing head. 

"A ring," I said, without looking at him.

"Wedding ring?"

I felt the windy chill of a cold joke ruffle through me. Really, it seems as if most of our superiors here are unqualified to crack jokes in English, even though their attempts at it are funny enough. 

In the end, I left the classroom without finding my ring. My hand feels oddly bereft. I shall have to compensate by adding more bangles to my growing collection.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Going on a 2D animation movie spree, I think, and pulling Cadet Kelly along for the ride. 
The list so far is as followed (according to number of times I've watched it):

1. The Prince of Egypt
[after downloading it, I had it on constant repeat while doing work, and had the soundtrack on constant repeat during class. and during my free time, I went to the college library to read through the entire Prince of Egypt art book. It's that awesome.]

2. Lilo and Stitch
[I'm sorry, you cannot help but fall in love with Stitch and the whole 'ohana' concept. Plus, the Hawaiian BGM kind of weasels its way into your subconscious and your humming it before realising it.]

3. Atlantis: The Lost Empire
[the whole Indiana Jones feel is interesting, no?]

4. Anatasia
[I've forgotten why I like this one so much actually. I've been watching it since I was a kid and been singing the songs on endless repeat with my friends that it's become so natural to like it. Like it's natural to breathe or something along those lines.]

5. Tarzan
[Tarzan's gotta be the hottest Disney-animated hero ever. Seriously, I mean, that physique, and the quiet intensity that probably made girls melt in the cinema. Plus, the sexual undertones of a wild man wooing his lady. I know the Disney folks tried their best to avoid it by making Jane the innocent blushing girl and portraying Tarzan as this adorably googly-eyed person around her, but, *clears throat*. Sorry, sexual undertones still there. Which is good! A romance without sexual tension is just weird. Like Aang and Katara in Avatar.]

6. The Emperor's New Groove
[Technically, I've watched this more times than all the others. My cousin and I used to watch it like every weekend for MONTHS and basically, remembered every. single. line. Still pretty much do. But my love for this piece has weathered with time and with the awful TV series on Disney Channel right now. Sorry, Kuzco.]

7. The Road to Eldorado
[Miguel and Tulio are hilarious. My fondness for this one is probably boosted by the fact that I first watched it with my best friend on the plane to Australia.]

8. The Lion King
[It's so majestic, you cannot not love it! It also has Rafiki, the blue-butt baboon!]

Yea, it's a Disney and Dreamworks-dominated list. Right now, in the process of downloading An Extremely Goofy Movie, Pocahontas and The Little Mermaid. If anyone has the file or torrent for Beauty and the Beast, I would be most grateful. 

TOA Cadet: Day 37

When I departed from my station during Light and Mood Study to go have a look at Cadet Pei Yoong's awesome work in progress, Lieutenant General Wei Chyuan slid into my seat, which set forth a torrent of silent thoughts that went along the lines of "oh my goodness, what is he doing, I'm going to die, he's gonna ... should I push him over?" 

But apparently my panic attack was a little unwarranted because he just wanted to check the colours of my work (which turned out horrible in spite of his help). He started upping the saturation, changing the brushes, playing with the layer settings and so on. Upon my word, the lieutenant general works the tablet like a pianist with his instrument! The speed at which his fingers tap the shortcut keys and the way his right hand dances across the tablet with the stylus really looks like he's playing some sort of vigorous music!

I was about to comment on that when he realised with dread that he hadn't made a new layer when helping me fix my work and so left me with no option but to go with whatever changes he had made to my piece. I stood there, stunned to stillness, as he asked me if I was alright? "Yea, sure," I mumbled.

"Just let me..." He tried to make a few more adjustments to help me along and finally I was obliged to ask him to stop and let me continue the piece on my own. "Like that lar..." He trailed off with mock resentment and I tried unsuccessfully to hail him back to say that it was nothing personal. 

Sometimes, I think the Lieutenant General is like a little kid. Sometimes, he's funny, and other times, his jokes are as cold as Lieutenant General Lip Wei. 


"Kelly, do you remember any of our lecturers' names this semester?" Cadet Aaron and I peered over the lunch table, waiting eagerly for Cadet Kelly's answer.

"...Kin Sun?"

Well, I guess one is better than none. I wonder if it was coincidence that General Kin Sun has chose that moment to enter the restaurant.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Words of "Wisdom"

Always bring some paracetamol whenever you venture outdoors. Your sanity could depend on it.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Murmurs 1

Love the History channel! Even though was supposed to rush on acrylic painting due tomorrow (part of me will never cure of the disease called procrastination, m'fraid), watched two documentaries back-to-back. The first one about Chairman Mao and how he used art to spread his propaganda (and hide his failures), and the second regarding the history of the sin Greed, more appropriately known as avarice. 

Lord Jesus was mentioned in the second documentary, but the people called Him a 'Jewish teacher', for academic's sake, I think. They were confused as to why Jesus claimed that the poor were more privileged than the wealthy although common knowledge tells us different. Additionally, learned that today's greed-driven world sort of had its beginnings with Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations, who was the pioneer of the idea that greed is good

Very interesting documentary all in all. Will now depart to 7-11 to get more canned coffee with Jie. Am planning to start building a canned coffee castle actually. See how that pans out. Will a year and a half left in my stint at TOA, I think I'll be buying enough canned coffee to build an empire. 

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Fullmetal Alchemist has reached 100 chapters!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

TOA Cadet: Day 31

The Cutie Cultie Comic Fiesta talk, which was compulsory for my squadron (or so they say) was supposed to start at 1000, right in the middle of our S.E.A. lesson, one of my favourite classes surprisingly. 

General Sau Bin always seems earnest to impart knowledge - in spite of the slight sadistic tendencies to his eccentric character - and could always pick out what I wanted to say despite my small voice. (Maybe it's because most of the people present are usually silent as graves. The way their eyes glass over whenever the general starts speaking is also reminiscent of the dead, but I digress.) Not to mention, today we were to start studying on Christian art influence in Southeast Asia. 

Unfortunately, we had to leave just before that part of the lecture began. I was torn immensely from staying behind and leaving. I was REALLY looking forward to listening about this subject from the general and yet they say the Cutie Cultie thing was important for our squadron. Finally deciding that I could research whatever General Sau Bin had taught in my absence and anyway, I shouldn't be looking at human depictions of the Lord and His Son, I left the classroom. 

Admittedly, my desire to listen to General Sau Bin made me less than kindly inclined towards the first person who was scheduled to talk for Cutie Cultie. In the end, the talk was delayed for 30 minutes because not all the speakers were present, and I was too busy steaming in my seat to even raise my hands to applaud the first speaker (who, although knew what he wanted to say, bored me to tears). 

As if that was enough, Cadet Kai, who had chosen to remain behind in General Sau Bin's class (the bugger), had to torture me through a phone message saying how much fun they were having on his side. The second speaker was not much better as he conversed solely in Mandarin and was the head of the Mandarin Comic Society, which probably won't benefit me unless I miraculously obtain powers to decipher the Chinese language. Sigh. Looking back on how uneventful the first half of the Cutie Cultie talk was, I wish I had stayed in General Sau Bin's lecture.

My apologies to Cadet Tricia, though, who had seen me glower unfairly at the speakers of Cutie Cultie. Really, it wasn't their fault. But I was in a bad mood. And when I'm in a bad mood, I tend to breathe fire unwittingly. 

"Raindrops are falling on my Head"

I passed by Universiti Malaya on my way home from dinner. The large letters on the giant archway welcoming visiting cars mocked me as I was driven past it, echoing don't you want you come back? 

Yea. Yea, I did want to go back there. Not that I was ever a student there. I have friends who study/studied there. But the one I wanted to revisit was not the university itself, but rather the hours I used to spend there, rehearsing for a play with my best friend and newfound friends. 

Afternoons spent tweaking voices with Ming so that we sounded scary enough for our parts as the Black Spirits. Laughing at Joshua (King) because the poor boy had two left feet and had the most comical way of screwing the steps up. Fooling around with Jane, Jenny and the rest while waiting for the director to turn his attention to us. Watching amusedly as Alfa did his Beyonce routine. Trying, with Ming, to teach tone dead Raja to sing. 

Those were fun moments, which was why I was so very reluctant to leave them behind. But as I reach midway of my course in TOA, I realise that soon, I will have to leave everything behind. Friends, family, belongings and memories, to cross oceans and further my studies. The only thing I can bring along are emotions and faith. Typing in the middle of my dining room, I already feel homesick. 

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Ofra Haza / Eden Riegel - Deliver Us

[Egyptian Guards]
Mud...And lift...Sand...And Pull
Water...And raise up...Straw...Faster!

With the sting of the whip on my shoulder
With the salt of my sweat on my brow
Elohim, God on high
Can you hear your people cry:
Help us now
This dark hour...

Deliver us
Hear our call
Deliver us 
Lord of all
Remember us, here in this burning sand
Deliver us
There's a land you promised us
Deliver us to the promised land...

Yal-di ha-tov veh ha-rach
(My good and tender son)
Al ti-ra veh al tif-chad
(Don't be frightened and don't be scared)
My son, I have nothing I can give
But this chance that you may live
I pray we'll meet again
If He will deliver us

Deliver us
Hear our prayer
Deliver us
From despair
These years of slavery grow
too cruel to stand
Deliver us
There's a land you promised us
Deliver us
Out of bondage and
Deliver us to the promised land...

Hush now, my baby
Be still, love, don't cry
Sleep as you're rocked by the stream
Sleep and remember my last lullaby
So I'll be with you when you dream

River, o river
Flow gently for me
Such precious cargo you bear
Do you know somewhere 
he can live free?
River, deliver him there...

[Young Miriam]
Brother, you're safe now
And safe may you stay
For I have a prayer just for you:
Grow, baby brother
Come back someday
Come and deliver us, too...

Deliver us
Send a shepherd to shepherd us
And deliver us to the promised land

Deliver us!

was up at four singing this song at the top of my lungs, much to everyone else's misfortune.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Snippets from my old blog

While watching Yu-Gi-Oh! Part 4...

Bro: What is 'anaglyph'?
Me: Dunno
Bro: What is 'snit'?
Me: Dunno
Bro: What do you know?
Me: ... dunno.


During ICT lesson..

Me: You know, to be happy you have to be ridiculously stupid.
John: You mean, like you?
Me: [speechless]
John: You know, with the way you are and all...
Me: You're a jackass.
John: Yeah.


On prom dates...

Keshinn: Hey Wei Li - my date!
Me: Hey Keshinn - my bitch!


Keshinn: Can I borrow a pencil?
Me: [rummages through stationery for pencil and finally found one]
Keshinn: Oh, it's okay. I already have...
Me: [scowls]
Naz: You've been making that face often lately. What happened to that "aw shucks, it's okay" person we all used to know and love?
Me: I know both of you far too long to bother being polite anymore.


Tzuk: [sneezes] HA-TCHOO!
Boon: Shaddup.


En. Isk: Can you all please stop coughing? I'm trying to have a spelling test here!


I'm a girl. Kelvin's a boy. I have a book on how to pick up women. And Kelvin has an article on women's guide to attract men. Am I the only one who sees something wrong here?


Sometimes, I hate the world. But just sometimes.

why is the Google logo in barcode today???

Monday, October 5, 2009

TOA Cadet: Day 26

CCD is always a joy to attend if only to hear General Bryan enthusiastically teach us more about Cartoon Character Design. Today was no different. The funnies came in when he tried to explain the prominent characteristics of different types of animals and somehow accidentally added Godzilla to the group of primates.

"Godzilla?" I repeated, snapping out from a stupor induced by lack of sleep. 

"I'm sorry! I mean gorilla!" he said sheepishly as Cadet Pei Yoong and I cooed at how much funnier he was nowadays as compared to the days he used to send us to sleep in Composition Analysis.

Everyone was looking a little worse for wear today. Cadet Alex looked as if blood had been drained from his face and Cadet Pei Yoong had more rings under her eyes than an onion. I noticed this similar trait in almost every other cadet in the squadron, myself included. The only exception seemed to be Cadet Chia Chee, who somehow always managed to get enough sleep. I'm starting to suspect that she lives in a different dimension, in which days consists of 48 hours or something.

Cadet Tricia was down for the count today. Having suffered stomach problems since yesterday, she couldn't get out of bed, much less finish her assignments. Lieutenant Zhuo You, however, was adamant about receiving an MC from her if she wanted to hand in her work. I can only hope my fellow cadet will recover in time to finish everything. 

Tonight is also the opening of the comic exhibition at headquarters. General Bryan says that it would be a good experience and that artists from the industry would be there. But I doubt that anyone from our squadron will be attending, given that we have an acrylic painting due for inspection tomorrow. 

{On a completely unrelated note, for the uninitiated, go search for Jinnai Tomonori on YouTube for 5-minute laughs. Anything to take off the stress, in my opinion.}

Sunday, October 4, 2009


Circumstance is our cruel friend. Long ago, you sustained me with hugs when I was turned down. You buttered me with words and though I did not believe them, I still took comfort in them. And where my weak-willed self would've fled long ago, you made me stay with you enthusiasm and encouragement. 

But when I discovered that you pined for someone else, I hardened my heart and threw you away. And it's so unfair to you, but I'm selfish. Yet bit by bit, I find myself wanting you again. I discovered that all along, I've always been endeared by you. I scream myself silent for being this pathetic and for being a bad friend.

But once upon a time, I liked you a lot.

Friday, October 2, 2009

TOA Cadet: Day 23

bout of randomness

hey there, little fella.
aren't you a little too young to be rifling through daddy's biker wardrobe?


You know that something is wrong when you start disliking your parents because they can go to sleep while you keep the night company finishing assignments. It starts becoming especially annoying when they start with the whole, "You should sleep more and rest your body," and the only thing that stops you from going on a rant of "I want to but I can't!" (insert expletives wherever appropriate) are those set of values slapped into you in your younger years that dictates no backtalking to parents (unless they're sassing your choice in clothes).

Today I woke up late and practically ran to class where everyone else is already settled in their seats, composed and hopefully, not staring at the clumsy latecomer. I barely sat my arse down when Lieutenant General WC reminded me, "Your WACOM", which led me hopping out of my seat, nearly tripping over the straps of my bag, and rushing to get my equipment in front of class.

It was the return trip that was horrifying. After getting my equipment and signing my name in the folder, I rushed back to my seat, tripping over the projector along the way and causing the cream screen to go rolling back up to the ceiling in a sharp snap. I remained still, wide-eyed, hand clasped over my mouth for several Mississippi seconds until the lieutenant general and General LCK assured me that no damage had been done.

Then as I pushed my chair forward, Cadet Edwin next to me tapped my shoulder to ask if I could lift my foot off his bag. The list of mortifying events just keep on going (albeit less significant to those I just mentioned).

Light and Mood Study class is almost always enjoyable with several inserts of humiliating self-deprecation on my part. Occasionally, Cadet Tricia jumps in on the fun as we lament on how much our work for the day sucked. Today was different in the sense that while in previous lessons, we had about two hours to finish one piece, we now had to do two pieces with 45 minutes allocated for each. Needless to say, there wasn't much time to walk around and chat.

Again, the general and the lieutenant general had to stop by my station several times to give me tips on how to improve my work. At one point, the lieutenant general even asked why I didn't like using special effects like the Color Dodge, to which I coloured and muttered that I forgot about that function.

I bumped into Cadet Zenji after class. I managed to introduce him to Cadet Aaron and Cadet Tricia, who nodded with a knowing smile when I said that he was one of the new recruits. It was usually obvious by the way the new recruits liked to wear their IDs around their necks. The more seasoned cadets usually chuck it into their knapsacks and simply heave said luggage at the digital sensors. On the outside, it usually looked like they were trying to attack the door.

Down the stairs and I was about to execute said attack when the new general beeped the door for us as he walked in. It was obvious he was new because we have never seen him around before this semester and the fact that he was a Westerner made him stand out amongst the tall, scrawny Chinese bunch that usually made up the squadron of generals around TOA.

According to the rumours, this new general was in charge of Typography for batch AD88-1 and a few of us mourned the fact that we will never have him lead us because frankly, he is hot. Even Cadet Aaron with the roving eye, says so. The motion is seconded by Cadet Tricia, much to Cadet Thomas' dismay. 

I learned later, during lunch, that the fit general is called Gabriel. For some reason though, I prefer to call him Nathan; in the same way that I still prefer calling Azman, Gandhi. We had lunch at Wong Kok, where we ran into Lieutenant Jen Thing with his friends, General Bryan and General CK with their friends, and General LCK with his girlfriends and wondered if Wong Kok was a hotspot for the generals.

Subsequently, I wondered where General Nathan (yes, I'm calling him that!) usually dined. 

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

TOA Cadet: Day 22

When I saw Cadet Yi Lin and the Singaporean standing outside the classroom, waiting for me, I had thought that I had finally pushed the Singaporean too far and that she had enlisted the help of our resident black-belt wushu warrior to make sure I never call her Singaporean again. But I'd been thinking too much again. They had merely been wanting to invite me to a newly-formed Bible Study group at Alex's place starting Saturday. Oh, happy day! I'd given up the fortune of Christian fellowship in TOA a while back and am happy to be proven wrong! 
This is to be celebrated with "kopi!"

The woman who has been taking care of me for over a decade now looked at me blankly. Not because she was a Hokkien speaker but more of the suddenness of my outburst! "Go! Get me coffee!" I said with delirious flourish as she laughed and called me a kopi kia (coffee child).


Feeling tremendously ill all of a sudden. Have taken a headache pill, a paracetamol, and no dinner, which was probably a bad idea, but now that the dishes are clear, it's a bad decision regretted too late.

Old Shinsengumi Ficcie

Something I wrote  long time ago and never finished. Reading it again, I cringe at some parts and wonder what in the world I had been thinking when I wrote that. Oh well, if you can't laugh at old works, then what can you?


It was a gloomy morning, cold with winter chill. Snow blanketed the wooden rooftops and the dirty streets of Mibu. Everyone everywhere sought warmth under shelter and in front of a fire. In the middle of the worst morning in this year's winter a lone female figure collapsed onto the snowy road. 

The melting snow seeped into her white yukata, turning it translucent against her bruised pale skin. Tears trailed from her eyes in hopeless despair and from the biting cold.

I am going to die, she though. Like a dog in the street. She was going to leave this world, nameless and unmourned.


Life's greatest pleasure lie in the simplest of things. That was what Shirokawa Fumiyoshi believed. He took his time enjoying a stick of dango under a paper umbrella, that had been set out in front of a tea shop to shield guests from the scorching summer sun. Only, the sun was hiding behind the clouds and it was still not yet summer. 

Winter remained in the bones of the old Mibu village. Passers-by running daily errands looked awkwardly at this stranger - this foreigner - who was calmly enjoying his snacks outside, unfazed by the teeth-shattering winds. 

Fumiyoshi finished the last of his snack and downed his green tea, which had been left out for so long it had gone ice-cold. He paid the owner and thanked him for the information about the girl, who had been found unconscious several mornings ago. 

"Poor girl, being captured by the Miburo and all that," the owner of the tea shop commented with a sigh. "She'd be better off dead. Who knows what those wolves have done to her by now." The owner saw Fumiyoshi twitch and frowned. "Are you alright? I told you eating outside during winter is stupid but you youngsters never listen to a word from the elderly."

"I assure you, I'm fine." He picked up his walking stick and donned his rice-planter hat. "I shall take my leave now."

Winters were not kind in Mibu. Although the worst of this year's winter has passed, it was still common to catch death in the outdoor chill. Many Mibu villagers, out on their own business, turned to stare as Fumiyoshi walked the streets in only two layers of clothing: his underclothes and the peasant robes he travelled in. By normal standards, he was two layers of clothing too short. 

It was obvious that this foreigner was made of something else; made of Aizu winters and hailstorms too many to remember, to be exact. Winter was always the cruelest of seasons because there was no way to hide from it if you were poor.

Such was the case with our current protagonist, who - for the first time in his life - was venturing outside Aizu. Given the opportunity and the money, Fumiyoshi would have preferred to see the shores of Hokkaido or visit the shrines in Edo, rather than come out all the way to a place like Mibu, where the people spoke differently and the spirit of the revolution was high.

Alas, he was not in Mibu for sight-seeing. That was just an added bonus. This little trip was using up his entire life's savings, which wasn't much to begin with, and he was already starting to wonder if it was all worth it.

Fumiyoshi entered a small trinket store and picked up a wooden sculpture of Shisa, about the size of his hand. As he pretended to examine it, he looked out the window at the large compound on the other side of the street.

There were two men stationed at the main entrance into the spacious compound. Both of them wore similar stoic expressions, a traditional Japanese topknot and sky-blue haori patterned with white mountains at the hem of the wide sleeves. Hanging from their hips was a dangerous-looking katana, accompanied by a shorter wakizashi.

Although the weapons were eye-catching, it was the haori which drew attention. Most haori in this period were dark in colour; deeper and richer if they were expensive, and duller for the cheaper ones. For haori to have such bright colours - like sky-blue - was quite unheard of, which was why it was perfect as a trademark.

The group of samurais hired by the protector of Kyoto to enforce the rule of the Tokugawa shogunate were very well known for their bright-coloured haori. Around Japan, they were known as the Shinsengumi - Newly Selected Corps - but here in Mibu, they were better known as the Miburo. The wolves of Mibu. It was their headquarters that lie opposite Old Man Matsumoto's trinket shop.

Several villagers that had engaged in small talk with Fumiyoshi mentioned screams of pain coming from the compound. At the moment, the headquarters was relatively silently, save for the telltale thwack of a bokken (wooden sword) as members trained inside.

Fumiyoshi regarded the compound with a wary eye and a sigh. At seventeen years, Shirokawa Fumiyoshi was feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. Early in his childhood, there was comfort and love. But they had been followed by ill fortune after his father's death, leaving him dirt poor and virtually alone. 

And now, the only remaining member of his immediate family had been taken captive by a hostile group of sword-wielding men. 

If it had been up to him, he would've gladly left his sister to the Shinsengumi. Of all their years together, he never had a single good memory of his older sister. She always played favourites and was never considerate. Their parents had often warned her that she would end up in trouble if she continued on like that. 

True enough, she was promised to a rich merchant, who was violent with her. It wasn't long after the marriage that the selfish girl rebelled and ran away. In retrospect, from her being married to Merchant Yamashi to being captured by the Shinsengumi, Kasumi's prospects haven't improved much.

Fumiyoshi paid for the wooden Shisa and left the trinket shop. Although there was no love lost between him and Kasumi, he had told his dead father he would take care of his sister. Fumiyoshi scoffed at the idea now. He shouldn't have promised that delirious, dying man anything.